Hey guys. I know it’s
been a couple weeks without new content.
I’ve had a lot going on with work and working on other real life
priorities. But I’m back for my seasonal
fall ranking. It’ll be the last one of
these that I do before list season begins in the winter. So don’t expect another one of these for the
actual charts again until the spring. I
got something special planned for the winter chart ranking but you’ll just have
to wait and see for that.
Anyway, it’s still 2020.
We’re still living in the ninth level of Jumanji. The pandemic is only getting worse here in
the United States. Social unrest is
still fairly strong as more and more are speaking about police brutality
against people of color. Hurricanes are
leading to mass flooding across the East while more and more wildfires are
spreading across the West. This
presidential election is still as pick your poison levels of awful as
ever. And popular music is still one of
the very few bright spot amongst this absolutely terrible year.
This ranking will be amongst the same format as last time
through tier rankings. Note that these
tiers are not ranked in any specific order.
And I’m going to try and not go into as much detail as I have in
previous entries. Some I’ll have more to
say than others.
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THE TERR-
….there is no terrible tier this go around. So yeah, better chart week all around. Might as well just jump right into…
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…so this should be renamed the creatively uninspired tier.
“Go Crazy” – Chris Brown & Young Thug
Honestly it amazes me that Chris Brown has been finding
chart success for three decades now. Not
just due to how many terrible things he’s done that should end his career. But he’s one of the few artists that are
becoming an increasingly narrow definition of a crossover artist on Top 40
radio. That’s the only way I can figure
out why he’s still having tons of success in this day and age because Chris
Brown is still releasing the same formula for his songs in 2020 that he did in
2019 and 2016 and 2014 and 2011 and 2008 and 2006. Yes.
Chris Brown is still releasing the same music that he did when he was a
snot-nosed kid. Just more graphic. Chris Brown will keep making the same damn
songs over and over again and still find new ways to piss me off.
“& Young Thug”.
Young Thug is barely on this song.
He’s barely a presence on any of his songs he’s released this year. That wasn’t always the case. A Young Thug guest verse used to mean that it
would be at the very least interesting. Even
with the 1,000 Thugger guest verses he’s done this year, I still think he is an
interesting artist. But this is the
first year I can genuinely say I’m bored by Young Thug’s output. When you’re getting outshined by Chris Brown
of all people, you know you need to try harder.
…and speaking of creatively uninspired songs.
“Savage Love – Laxed Siren Beat” – Jawsh 685 & Jason
DeRulo
Leave it to TikTok to save Jason DeRulo’s career.
Honestly, I find the reason this got popular to be far more
interesting than the song itself.
Because Jason DeRulo isn’t the problem with this song. Don’t get me wrong, Jason DeRulo performs
this song as uninspired and anti-charismatic as usual. I seriously don’t understand how this guy has
a career spanning three decades either.
And the fact that he has such a huge following on TikTok pretty much
guaranteed this was going to be a huge hit.
Jason DeRulo sure knows how to ride trends….maybe that’s why his career
has the lifespan of a cockroach?
I should be more annoyed that Jason DeRulo coincidentally
used the word “Savage” in his song title because of Megan’s “Savage” being one
of the biggest TikTok trends of the year.
I should be more annoyed that Jason DeRulo didn’t originally credit the
producer on this but eventually had to due to legal purposes. But I’m not.
This song’s path to becoming an actual hit is far more interesting than
it has any right to be.
But let’s get straight down to the biggest problem. I hate that laxed siren beat. It’s a limp drop that absolutely distracts me from how basic the rest of this song is. I don’t know why this first time producer with a stage name that is clearly his X-Box gamertag wants to take credit for something that sounds like an offkey fart. But he is clearly proud of this farting synth because it trended on TikTok and a C-list pop singer wanted to use it to make himself relevant again for the first time in years. This beat. THIS BEAT.
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“For The Night” – Pop Smoke (featuring Lil Baby & DaBaby)
This one makes me a different form of uncomfortable to talk
about. For starters, rest in peace Pop
Smoke. I actually discovered Pop Smoke’s
music months before he passed away. And
I actually was really impressed by him as a rapper. He had a lot of untapped potential with his
presence and his production choices.
It’s terrible he was taken away from us too soon because I think he
could have been one of the defining new rap stars of the 2020’s.
Which leads us to his posthumous album. One of the biggest albums of the 2020’s. Executive produced by one of Pop Smoke’s
influences in his music, 50 Cent. I
highlight that element in particular because it is uncomfortable to me how we
went from the Pop Smoke of 2019 to basically this whole album sounding like 50
Cent songs from the 2000’s. I get that
Pop Smoke considered him to be a key influencer in his style, but this change
in presentation post-death just leaves me feeling all sorts of creeped
out. That’s what creeps me out about the
record industry when it comes to making posthumous albums. A bunch of hacks trying to market the hell
out of whatever material they left by dead artists while throwing all caution
to the wind as to what sort of style the artist themselves were going for. Did Pop Smoke want to be the next 50
Cent? I don’t know. But it feels like a forced decision by his
handling team because of 50’s involvement with this album.
I could honestly go on about this whole topic because it’s
more interesting than the song itself.
Which is just boring as tar. And
just like his key influencer before him, 50 Cent was at his worst when he
sounded dreary and bored. This isn’t
menacing. This isn’t romantic. This is just dull and uninvested. Which the same could be said for his guest
stars. This is like the eighth time Lil
Baby and DaBaby have worked together.
And while both have made far worse together, neither really is giving
their A-material here. And per usual,
DaBaby is the better of the two and I do like his rest in peace for Pop Smoke
at the end of his verse. But it doesn’t
save the song itself from being any less tired.
THE MEH TIER
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….why do I feel like this is going to be the hottest take
from this post?
“Before You Go” – Lewis Capaldi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtauh8GcxBY
I think I’m turning around a bit on Lewis Capaldi as a
performer. By no means do I think he’s
talented. But in a pop landscape lacking
in real presence, there is something distinguishable about Lewis Capaldi’s
music. He’s untalented and he knows it. And I admire that rawness about him. He belts and oversings every song he’s been
on like he knows his fifteen minutes are going to be up before he knows
it. Hell, he made the news recently for
saying that he’s going to give the general public a break from listening to his
music. That’s literally how he worded
it. He’s always been a funny guy, but it
is like he’s self-aware to his lack of talent.
That doesn’t make “Someone You Loved” a better song. It still sucks. But his follow-up….kind of sort of slightly
works? I’ve heard this song is about the aftermath of his aunt committing suicide. Well the way he sells it sure does sound like he's heartbroken. Lewis Capaldi may be a god awful vocalist, but you have to give him credit for at least selling each and every one of his songs like he's absolutely miserable. I mean I'm not bumping this up any higher than mediocre because...come on, Lewis Capaldi is still awful...but he's at least interesting levels of bad.
“Roses (Imanbek Remix)” – SAINt JHN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zToEPpFEN8
Still do not care to have any thoughts about this vastly
unremarkable remix. Although the growing
number of trap/EDM remixes is something to note. I guess that makes this song patient zero of
this new trend. I mean more and more of
these songs are popping up on my Today’s Hits playlist on Apple Music. Hell they are even remixing older songs like
“Lovefool” by The Cardigans. Not
impressed by any of these whatsoever.
Maybe I’ll turn around on this trend someday, but right now consider me
unimpressed by it.
“One of Them Girls” – Lee Brice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpkZfkxdj2c
What a basic song. I’m
surprised Lee Brice isn’t tipping his fedora while telling this girl that she’s
one of them girls who should hook up with one of them guys like him. Probably should be in the bad tier but I like
the instrumentation on this a fair amount.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that this country song sure does
exist.
…good thing this blog doesn’t have that big of a
following. Otherwise, I would probably
be pissing a lot of k-pop stans off with this take.
“Dynamite” – BTS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdZLi9oWNZg
But to whatever BTS army members find this, I don’t hate
BTS. I don’t really have a strong enough
impression of them to really have much of an opinion. I do like two of their songs “Boy With Luv”
and “Fake Love” if that means anything.
And I like how this song sounds if it means anything. The disco sound is really making a comeback
this year and I’m all for it.
And that’s where all my positivity with this song ends. Because this sounds like a rejected
children’s cartoon movie dance number that plays before the credits roll. For a song that has officially made history
as the first K-pop single to top the Hot 100 stateside, this is not even
remotely distinct. The fact that this is
also BTS’s first entirely English song makes it even more telling that they had
to completely conform to finally reach number one. That’s not how it should be, but that’s what
it looks like from an outsider’s perspective.
And it really shouldn’t have to be.
Because outside of the chorus, these lyrics don’t make any sense. “King Kong kick the drum”? “Ice tea and a game of ping pong”? “Rolling on like a Rolling Stone”?
Look I get that it’s not about the lyrics. It’s never supposed to be when it comes to
k-pop. Translation or no
translation. A lot of people are finding
this song uplifting right now due to its cheeriness in such a dour year. I get why people like it and who would
willingly go to defend it. But to me,
this is just BTS riding an algorithm to finally top the charts stateside. And I really wish they didn’t try to conform
to do so.
THE DECENT TIER
“WHAT’S POPPIN” – Jack Harlow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9uWPBDHEKE
If we were judging the remix, it would be in the meh tier. And honestly, I was tempted to do that for
this chart ranking since that’s the version Billboard is counting towards this
Top 20. But in all honesty, the original
has grown on me more just due to how bad the remix is. So I’m flattening out the curve and just
placing this in the decent tier. Plus
there is nothing else going in this tier anyway, so why not? My seasonal ranking, my rules. Next.
THE GOOD TIER
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Honestly might as well just group these two together because
I more or less like these equally the same:
“Laugh Now Cry Later” – Drake (featuring Lil Durk)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFm7YDVlqnI
“Popstar” – DJ Khaled (featuring Drake)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CxtK7-XtE0
What can I say? I
like both of these Drake songs. Which
might be an unpopular opinion to some, but they are both good songs.
The former actually is growing on me even more and if I had
to pick which was the better of the two, it would be this. Because this is some of the best production
Drake has had since “Nice For What”. And
for the most part, he takes advantage of it.
I’m not denying that Drake hasn’t done this sort of emotional
introspection before. He’s done this
topic to death with the amount of output in his career. But a great sound goes
a long way when it comes to Drake’s music.
I love those horns. They just
sound so great. And they especially work
when it comes to the content. I love
when Drake gets darker like this. Most
of these lines just hit and hit hard.
Although, I really wish he would just get the hell over Pusha T exposing
to the world that Drake was hiding a child.
At some point, he’ll just have to accept that giant L he took. Get over
it. You’re still the biggest star in the
music industry. Just shut the fuck
up.
Also, Lil Durk has the best Drake feature in a hit song in
quite awhile. Anybody who trashes
6ix9ine gets extra points in my book.
And then there’s “Popstar”.
A song that’s basically Drake bragging about how awesome he is for three
minutes. Another topic that has been
done to death. But my lord, that hook has
nudged its way into my head and it won’t escape. It’s doing something right. And sure some can argue that Drake isn’t a
popstar. This isn’t a pop song. But who the hell cares. It’s insanely catchy. I love the stupid pop artist references. I love the stupid cheerleader 2, 4, 6, 8
chant. It’s just so stupid and vapid
that it makes me smirk every time I hear it.
This is more of a guilty pleasure to me than it is a good song, but I
like it a hell of a lot.
It’s like DJ Khaled knew that after having a very bad 2019,
he begged Drake to come save his career.
DJ Khaled basically bought his way back to chart success not just with
the multiple Drake features but getting Justin Bieber to star in the music
video for this. Well guess what, it
worked. I love this video. Basically the only good thing Justin Bieber
has done in 2020 and that’s through being a parody of the loathsome piece of
shit he once was.
“ROCKSTAR” – DaBaby (featuring Roddy Ricch)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxFstYSbBmc
Song of the Summer.
Sorry to those of you who wished it belonged to a more “summer sounding
song”. But this was the least summer
feeling year we’ve ever been through.
Deal with it.
“I Hope” – Gabby Barrett
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDFdVIp6rHg
I know what you’re thinking.
Wasn’t this in the excellent tier last time? Didn’t you have nothing but positive things
to say about it? You’re right. I did say all that. And that’s even before I discovered that
Gabby Barrett is a bigot. Terrible
people are still capable of making good music.
No, what knocked this down a whole tier is due to that god
awful Charlie Puth version. That’s what
is keeping this song relevant on the charts.
So that’s the version I’m judging for this top twenty ranking. This is an entirely different situation in
comparison to WHAT’S POPPIN. I don’t see
the original version on any streaming charts.
It’s only the Puth version. So
that’s why it’s down a tier. Still like
the original plenty.
“Mood” – 24kGoldn (featuring iann dior)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrAchTdepsU
I think I love the trend this is bringing onto the charts
more than I do the song itself. If that
makes any sense. Sure emo rap has been
popular for about three to four years now.
But what’s been bubbling under is emo rap utilizing a more pop punk
sound. A lot of artists have been
experimenting with this sound whether it be Post Malone, Trippie Redd, and
Machine Gun Kelly to artists who died young like Lil Peep, XXXTentacion, and
Juice WRLD. It’s something that I’ve
been waiting for. The return of
alternative rock elements to the charts.
That’s what caught my eyes to 24kGoldn earlier this year with his
music. I was waiting for “City of
Angels” to crossover from the bubbling under and here he is now with his
follow-up. Finally achieving it with a
huge hit in his own right with another emo rap artist who caught my attention,
iann dior.
But enough about this new wave of emo rap hitting the
charts, does that mean this song is great?
In its own ways, yes. This melody
is infectious. This chorus is an ear
piranha that just gnaws away at your brain all day. The one thing that does keep this away from
the great tier is 24kGoldn’s verse.
Which I wish was far more memorable.
I love iann dior’s portion of the song a lot more because it really
captures the angst of this song far more.
Meanwhile 24kGoldn only cares if this girl is “wet or not”. We’ll be talking about wet ass pussies in a
bit, but I just wish the lead artist of this song’s verse was as angst ridden
as the rest of this song is fairly well.
THE GREAT TIER
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And it’s time for the lightning round of all the usual
suspects that refuse to leave the Top 20.
“Circles” – Post Malone
“Blinding Lights” – The Weeknd
“Adore You” – Harry Styles
I’ve talked about these before. I’ve said what I said. Nothing has changed except seasons.
…so about those wet and gushies…
“WAP” – Cardi B (featuring Megan Thee Stallion)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsm4poTWjMs
In a year full of collaborations, this might quite possibly
be my favorite of them all. These two
just work off each other so perfectly to give us the female sexual empowerment
anthem to end all anthems. Like
seriously, I will be shocked if Cardi and Megan topped themselves any time soon
because this song is perfect.
Also Ben Shapiro admitting that he can’t sexually satisfy
his wife is the bruh moment of 2020.
Thank you for giving this song more clout.
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“Watermelon Sugar” – Harry Styles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E07s5ZYygMg
Harry Styles really can’t do no wrong, can he? We truly don’t deserve this man. He just knows how to make the most perfect of
pop songs. Bless our watermelon
overlords. This was the song of the
summer for me. Really made me happy to
be alive every time I heard it. You see
Justin Bieber? This is how you do food
related sexual metaphors.
“Break My Heart” – Dua Lipa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj2U6rhnucI
Was honestly tempted to just rope this one in with the three
overlonged holdovers earlier because I feel like I talk about Dua Lipa’s
excellence so much already. But nope, I
have yet to talk about this Dua Lipa song so far this year shockingly. It’s fucking great. “Don’t Start Now” has definitely tired on me
already, but nearly seven months later, I’m not even remotely tired of this
one. Mostly due that excellent sampling
of one of my favorite INXS songs, “Need You Tonight”. How Dua Lipa decontextualizes this song and
makes it her own really shows how huge of a music nerd she is and how much I
love her for doing so. There’s something
about this girl that makes me sweat…and yes I did quote INXS. I should just stay at home…and yes I did
quote Dua Lipa.
“Come & Go” – Juice WRLD & Marshmello
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxm3cHrKcbA
I think this is the perfect song to end this ranking
on. Because everything I went into
detail about with “For the Night” and “Mood” applies to this song in
particular. Except done right. Juice WRLD’s first posthumous album doesn’t
feel like it had direction and was in line with the artist’s vision before he
passed away. And this song with one of
his frequent collaborators in Marshmello felt like it was handled with proper
care. This is the best Juice WRLD hook
ever. It captures the angst of being
young and in love accurately. And while
yeah one can complain that Marshmello is once again rehashing his infamous limp
drops, it honestly works here to me because it is in tone with the mood of the
song. This is in line with what I hope
we get when it comes to emo rap/pop punk crossovers. Sorry if this sounds rushed
So yeah, that’s the start of Fall 2020 for ya. Nearly half of this Top 20 is great. And there were no terrible songs this
season. This is not nearly as long as
some of the other seasonal rankings, but as I already stated, I’m trying to
save more of my in depth thoughts come December. Where I’ll be sharing my Top 10 Worst Hit
Songs of 2020 and my Top 20 Best Hit Songs of 2020. You read that right. 20 Best.
This year sucks and we could all use some more serotonin in our daily
lives.
Thank you all for reading.
A best/worst retrospective music list is in the works as well as my
review of Disney’s Mulan (2020). Until
next time, stay safe and thanks for stopping by.
