Hey guys. Been nearly a month since my last update. I would like to apologize on behalf of that as I’m not going to mince words: I’ve hit writers block. Badly.
I know that I warned you all when I brought this blog back
over a year ago that my schedule was going to be a little more sporadic when it
comes to content updates, but I didn’t expect to hit any sort of giant writers
block. I have two best lists that I am
still working on and do plan on still releasing sooner than later, but work has
been busy, life has been busy, and the world is starting to return to some
sense of normalcy. It is not the
normalcy that we had before the pandemic, but it’s a normalcy that I’ll gladly
accept because I’ve been spending too much of the past year in a constant state
of paranoia and depression. Life is
worth living and its time that I put forth the effort to go back to doing
things that I loved before the pandemic made me afraid to do some of my
favorite hobbies. In July, I will be
taking two vacations for the first time in what feels like a long time. I love traveling and I’m going to be doing
some much needed trips.
And then comes to the other past time that I’ve sorely
missed. Today I’ll be making my first
trip to a movie theater since the pandemic first began. I’ve missed the movies sorely and I’ll
provide much more in depth of my first experience back to a movie theater in my
next entry; which will be a review of “In The Heights”. So stay tuned for that. In the meantime, to help get myself out of my
writers block funk, here is another edition of Brief Movie Reviews. All six movies that I planned on doing an
actual review for but couldn’t due to my own personal faults. Starting with:
Mortal Kombat
Remember when video game movies were such poison to filmmaking? Honestly, I feel like we’ve dug ourselves out
of that somewhat the past few years.
Pokemon Detective Pikachu was actually a good movie. Meanwhile, Sonic the Hedgehog had actual
effort put into it and wasn’t the atrocity that I was initially fearing it to
be. But if you want to talk about a
video game film series that was the definition of why these movies have such a
bad reputation, look no further than the 90s Mortal Kombat movies. Both are just absolutely terrible with the
first being an incoherent mess, while the sequel is honestly so fucking
terrible that its almost flirting with being so bad that it’s good. If I ever decide to do bad movie reviews like
I once did back in my early days of film critiquing, those two Mortal Kombat
movies are prime target riffing material.
Yet, Hollywood keeps insisting that there is money to be
made with one of the most iconic video game franchises of all-time and with
more and more video game films being pumped out than ever before, why not give
Mortal Kombat another chance? After all,
I can see how a Mortal Kombat movie can be successful if done right. I mean look no further than the Bloodsport
film series. You can watch those movies,
and I have, and you can hear yourself thinking FINISH HIM or FLAWLESS VICTORY
or FATALITY. Its more or less the same
background for success if done right.
And while I still don’t think these movies have been given
the justice they deserve, this one comes closer than you would think. For starters, they absolutely take advantage
of that “R rating”. The violence is
heavy. Lots of blood and gore. The language is crude when it needs to
be. I mean what did you guys expect from
a M rated video game franchise? It is an
adaptation of Mortal Kombat to its truest self.
And you know what? I can respect
that. Especially when so much of this
movie is adapted fairly well.
Yeah I absolutely loved the Scorpion/Sub-Zero story. The first ten minutes solely focuses on that
and it honestly felt like an arthouse picture to an extent with the amount of
drama the beginning was. And whenever
the movie cuts back to that story throughout, it is well-crafted. Especially in that climatic showdown. Very good stuff. And that wasn’t the only good element from
the movie. Josh Lawson as Kano is a
scene-stealer. He’s crude, drops curse
words like there is no tomorrow, and he’s freaking hilarious every time he’s
on-screen. I hope he gets more work
after this because he deserves it.
Honestly, my main problem with this movie is the
protagonist. His name is Cole Porter
played by Lewis Tan. And he’s incredibly
uninteresting and his performance is relatively flat as well. I’ve seen Lewis Tan in other works before
like Deadpool 2 and underrated television series, Into the Badlands. I think he can act. But this role just didn’t do anything for
me. He’s the least interesting character
in a movie that has a lot of interesting characters, so maybe that has
something to do with it? I don’t know,
but whenever the movie focuses on him, it stalls and drags its feet. Apparently, they are teasing Johnny Cage for
the sequel and that character would be an absolute breath of fresh air because
he can totally supplant this Average Joe.
And I also wished we got more fighting. Because there were only three true fight
sequences in this movie. Otherwise,
there is a lot of exposition and a lot of training montages and a lot of going
on side quests looking for certain plot devices. Your movie is called Mortal Kombat for a
reason. When it is a Mortal Kombat
movie, its gloriously cheese in the best ways.
When it is not, it is just your run of the mill first franchise film to
world build into a potential blockbuster series.
I think this is a huge improvement over the other Mortal
Kombat flicks, but that’s really just saying your movie was competently made
instead of being a true entertaining film.
But you know what? I’ll take
it. It was fine for a one-off viewing
experience and maybe not change the channel when it comes on cable.
Final Grade: C+
Raya and the Last Dragon
This was not what I was expecting. I honestly don’t know what I was expecting
when I first saw a trailer for this. I
thought initially that it was cool to see a Disney action adventure like this,
but the dragon was trying too hard to be Genie from Aladdin. Those were my initial trailer impressions and
I had no desire of seeing it.
But after sitting through Raya and the Last Dragon, I got to
admit. This was really good, but man did
it need a few more go arounds in the production studio. Because I saw glimpses of actual greatness
that would have been easy fixes if Disney kept it in pre-production a little
while longer. That’s frustrating to an
extent because the minor problems I had with this were honestly nitpicks. I would have foregone a lot of the needless
exposition, I would have cutback the most overused Disney trope about a
parental unit explaining to their daughters about their roles as being a
leader, and yeah the first few minutes of just Sisu being exactly what I feared
her to be from the trailers. Also the
ending….minor nitpick that would be a huge spoiler, but let’s just say that the
happy ending would have been more effective if a character stayed dead to
really hit the morals home.
Because honestly otherwise, a lot of this movie was damn
effective and really good. I loved the
action sequences. I loved the
animation. I loved the characters. I loved the morals on trust and opening
up. This movie just felt super
epic. It was like watching an anime to
an extent because the story was super strong and the world building was
phenomenal. This is one of those rare
occasions that I wished the movie was even longer in length because of just how
well they built up this world and just how effective this story they were
telling was. What I really loved was how
there was no real villain. There was an
antagonist, but the antagonist was so well-established that you could
absolutely understand what her motivations were and why she was acting the way
that she was.
And yes I do agree with the controversy about representation
amongst the Southeaster Asian community.
They really missed the mark by only having five actual actors and
actresses lending their voices to this. But
I have to highlight one of those five because Kelly Marie Tran was phenomenal
in this. She’s somebody that I really
hope gets more work if she chooses to stay in Hollywood; especially after the
online harassment from the Star Wars community for her role in The Last Jedi. You can tell how invested she is in Raya’s
lore and her character. Her dedication
is absolutely noticed throughout.
I would love to see Disney explore this sort of epic
action-adventure animation some more down the line. Because Raya really surprised me in the best
way.
Final Grade: A-
Army of the Dead
See what happens you guys when you beg to
#ReleaseTheSnyderCut ? Now you give
directors the freewill to not filter anything!
I’m kidding. I am all for
director’s realizing their true vision make its way to the big screen without
studio meddling. And I’ll be honest, the
Snyder Cut of Justice League is like three times better than the theatrical
version, which keeps getting worse and worse as time goes by.
But yeah, this is Zack Snyder’s return to his roots with a
zombie flick that was honestly a hour and a half too long. Yeah I’m just going to get my main complaint out of the way first. This
movie suffers from being too damn long just like a lot of Zack Snyder’s movies. And I’ll just get this out of the way, I
don’t hate Zack Snyder. I’ve always been
indifferent to his style of directing. I
think the guy can film some pretty fucking sweet action sequences and really
has a knack for visual storytelling.
Like take a look at the opening credit sequence. It honestly represents what I love and what I
don’t like about Zack Snyder as a director.
The musical choices? Bloody
brilliant. Watching topless Vegas
showgirls run for their lives and then eventually get infected? Hilarious.
Showing the exposition of our main character through visuals without any
dialogue? Smart choice. Lingering on certain sequences for too
long? Boring. Needless side characters that you’ll never
see again get infected? Why. Clocking all this in at seven minutes? Would have been more effective at just four
minutes, hell maybe five.
Honestly, how you feel about that opening credits sequence
goes a long way as to how you feel about this movie. Because I enjoyed it when it didn’t drag or
let scenes go on for far too long. I
mean a zombie action heist movie? How
clever and original. That alone pulled
me in right away. And it was effective
as all three. The zombies were far more
elaborate than you’d see in most zombie movies.
The action scenes were entertaining as hell. And the heist elements were clever and
elaborate. Btw this was the role that
our lead, Dave Bautista was born to play.
He’s a believable badass that has good comedic timing. It’s like watching a more intelligent Drax
kicking ass and killing zombies.
Don’t have much else to say really. I enjoyed it for what it was, but Zack Snyder
honestly does need to edit his movies better because this would have been far
more effective if this was at least one hour less than it was.
Final Grade: B
Spiral
From the Book of Saw, eh? I’m all for this new trend of comedic actors making horror
movies. After all, some of the best
horror movies of the past five years have come from Jordan Peel and John
Krasinski. Not who you’d initially
expect to become horror icons, but here they are. Now trying to join this trend is Chris
Rock. Who has honestly gone under the
radar as of late in terms of trying to bring credibility back to his career
after years and years of people forgetting that this guy used to be incredibly
funny. But over the past five or so
years, Chris Rock has reinvented his career a bit. He made one of the first good romantic
comedies in years back in 2015 with Top Five.
He showed he can play a good dramatic actor in his recurring role in the
series Fargo. He’s been doing a little
more directing as well. So naturally,
horror was the next genre to try and take a swing at. Hell, he even brought back the director of
some of the better installments of the Saw series. So the cards were there for this to be
interesting at least.
And honestly, I forgot I even saw this a month ago. I really had to sit back and think about my
viewing experience since I don’t have the methods to view this a second time
until it comes out on streaming or gets
a DVD release. But I do remember liking
aspects of this and disliking aspects at the same time. I do think this is in the upper tier of the
Saw films because they do have good actors in this movie. Chris Rock does good. Samuel L. Jackson is always welcome to make
an appearance in anything, per usual for him.
I’m always welcoming seeing Max Minghella get a little more shine, very
underrated actor who should be getting more roles. Darren Lynn Bousman also knows how to direct
horror movies so he can film good sequences and knows how to get good scares.
My problems with this movie comes down to the writing. Its super predictable and not even the
slightest bit challenging. Like these
actors and these directors try to make the best of the script
shortcomings. I noticed it while
watching it. There is a good movie
trying to make its way out of this. But
this storyline is done to death. The
mystery elements are supremely easy to figure out. And the imaginative deaths that this
franchise is known for? Less imaginative
than ever before. Like even the worst of
the Saw movies like the 3D one had some interesting ways that people get killed
off. Not here. I am so glad that the torture porn era of
horror is over because Saw was the main influencer of that era of horror; but
there are times where you can use torture porn to really tell a story. And like I said, there is a story that this
movie is trying to tell for a detective thriller. But it is like these writers don’t want to
take any chances and just hope that bringing in recognizable names like Chris
Rock and Samuel L. Jackson will bring in new faces or bring old Saw fans back.
I don’t know guys. I
am definitely open to returning to this series since it has been awhile since
we had a new Saw movie. But did this
movie do enough for it to come back completely?
Yes and no. If they got better
people to write this movie, it would be a whole letter grade higher. But as is, its serviceable to watch because
the acting and directing are good. The
writing just left A LOT to be desired.
Final Grade: C
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
Now here’s a franchise I wish would go the fuck away for quite
a while. I’m so sick of The Conjuring
“cinematic universe”. That’s a load of
bullshit btw. This is no true cinematic
universe. Not by a long shot. This is a movie series that has absolutely
let Warner Brothers take total control in meddling and decide where they want
to go from here on out. And its not like
all these movies are bad. The first
Conjuring is still great. The second and
Annabelle: Creation were also good. But
so many shitty spin-offs and forced lore characters so those can also get
spin-offs from the spin-offs. This is a
“movie universe” that I’m just absolutely sick of. Warner Brothers definitely is micromanaging
the fuck out of every single film so they can obtain more and more money out of
them.
With that said and my absolute frustration with this
franchise aside, is The Conjuring: Unnecessarily Long Title any good? Well…its nice to see Patrick Wilson and Vera
Farmiga back that’s for sure. Those two
go a long way from making me absolutely hating this. Their chemistry, their characters still
finding ways to be more developed and interesting, and just being damn near
underappreciated actors. I don’t know
how they still find ways to make these characters more and more interesting
with this franchise now nearing ten years of existence. And while I’m also really fucking sick of
jumping scares, the mainline Conjuring films still manage to pull off effective
enough jump scares…although there are some really bad ones to counter act some
mostly good ones.
But yeah, the third or fourth (I’ve lost count) Conjuring
film just isn’t as good as the first two.
Even if this is based off an alleged true story, this story is so
fucking convoluted and ridiculous that I had a really hard time taking so much
of this so seriously. And also yeah, you
can tell that once again, Warner Brothers meddled heavily with this one. There was a character that I’m not going to
spoil that was definitely forced into existence just so it can eventually get
its own spin-off. The bad jump scares
are really bad like even more embarrassing than some of the worse spin-offs
that are already out there like La Llorona and Annabelle.
But you know what made the first two Conjuring movies so
effective that this one was sorely missing?
The haunted house elements.
That’s what made the first two Conjuring movies so good and more
memorable. There is a reason that it
became a stable horror movie cliché. The
Conjuring took that cliché and added depth to it. That’s why none of the trailer shot jump
scares were nearly as effective this go around.
Most of them were outdoors. I
know that sounds like a nitpick and yeah jump scares can be effective outdoors
too. But not when you’ve beaten this
well as dry as The Conjuring-verse has.
You’ve got to get more creative with it if you want these films to go
another ten years. Otherwise, more
people outside of me will get bored with this film series. Then you’ll go dormant like Saw above.
Maybe this final grade will be harsh, but I’m just sick of
this shit.
Final Grade: D+
Cruella
And the final film we will be discussing today is yet
another Disney live-action animation adaptation that I really wish they would
end this already except this one was good….hell great even. Yeah it is has been five years since we got a
good one of these and a reminder as to why I didn’t hate this trend for a
while. Because they actually tried new things with this one and didn’t go
through the live action tropes that have become fairly obnoxious after sitting
through so many of these in the past couple years…well except for the one
problem I had with this, and we’ll get to it.
First off, this movie is fucking cool. The soundtrack is killer. The production designs and set pieces are
amazing. The acting is great, especially
from both Emma’s (Stone and Thompson).
And they actually really utilize that PG-13 element to more credit than
anyone expected going in. Because god
some of these scenes are legitimately dark.
Including the death of a character early on, that some were spoiled to
online, but actually watch the whole movie and you’ll stop laughing at the
“hilarity” behind it because it is not all that it seems.
And yes this movie is clearly a Disney-fied version of The
Devil Wears Prada, but let’s be real here.
The Devil Wears Prada is a modern classic for a reason. And it absolutely fits with the world of
Cruella DeVil. If any Disney character
would work in the world of TDWP, it is this one. And some of the dresses and designs that are
utilized are legitimately really fucking great.
Me, someone who has no fashion, was impressed by so many of the fashion
aspects towards this movie. Including
what some would expect to be the climax initially with that killer soundtrack
to boot. Look for it.
Then it all goes downhill from there…kind of. I don’t hate the last thirty minutes. Not the slightest. But it is absolutely what prevents this from
being easily the number one best live-action Disney animation adaptation into
being debatable amongst Cinderella and The Jungle Book for me. And I absolutely felt like Disney added those
last thirty minutes in because that ending felt so by the numbers for me. A shocking twist, watching all these
characters deal with the twist, and then yet another climax that is admittedly
still good, just not as great as the one earlier. Like I said, I didn’t hate it, but I felt
like Disney could have wrapped things up better if they just let director Craig
Gillespie go through with his vision for the movie not meddled. Because he really had something going greatly
here for 80-85% of this movie.
So yeah, what could have been easily the best live-action
Disney animation adaptation now settles for being in a three-way tie that is up
for debate. Still a recommendation!
Final Grade: A-
And that's all for this installment of Brief Movie Reviews. Will aim to get the review up for In The Heights fairly soon as it will also contain my thoughts on the return to a theater going experience for me. All the more reason to get that project out. Otherwise, I'm sorry again for the lack of content. Will try to fix that soon. Until next time guys, take care! Thank you as always for reading.
