Tuesday, December 22, 2020

The Top Twenty Best Hit Songs of 2020

I already said it one too many times this year and I'll say it again, thank god for the music of 2020.



This year man.  This fucking year.  Even with how god awful the world is right now, we did not deserve music this good.  This is right up there as one of the best music years I have ever covered.  Probably top five so far.  When a year-end list has more than fifty songs that I liked, then that's a telling sign that this was a great year overall.  I may not be looking forward to the future due to massive amounts of uncertainty that is the world around us, but if I'm looking forward to one thing, it's to see where music is going.  Even excluding just the hits, I think music in general is in an awesome place.

That's why I did a top twenty list this year.  Because I would be excluding too many good hits that we got on this year-end list.  So much strong quality that should not go unnoticed.  I'm not going to waste too much more of your time guys.  Not just due to wanting to start this amazing list already, but because I have a shit ton of writing to do.  No honorable mentions this year.  Let's get the ball rolling.  WE'RE COUNTING DOWN!


THE TOP TWENTY BEST HIT SONGS OF 2020




--------------------


 …can we just put Em out to pasture already?  For fucks sake.

I swear to god I’m getting sick of this man constantly embarrassing himself with humiliatingly misguided album after humiliatingly misguided album.

But even with each passing album, Em still has a track or two that manages to remind me that he’s still one of the best to ever do it.  And thankfully, the best song on that last album ended up being his only hit.


20. “Godzilla” – Eminem (featuring Juice WRLD)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_0JjYUe5jo


By no means is this one of Eminem’s best songs.  Not even close to being in his top ten.  Honestly the main reason this song is even on this best list is Juice’s hook.  Which is honestly one of the best hooks he ever did.

Even at his advanced age, Eminem can still make interesting music.  Good or bad.  That album has multiple tasteless songs about the inner workings of the minds of infamous serial killers.  But this song is about Eminem himself and his own self-destructive tendencies to alcohol addiction.  Which is fascinating in its own rights as he compares his own addiction to the implications of movie monsters like Godzilla.

…all that said, did we really need that third verse?  Yes, Eminem breaking his own record once again for fastest rap verse is impressive.  But it has been done to death and when you really look into the lyrics, it’s almost as unimpressive as his previous record with Rap God.  Just because you’ve got the ability to rap fast doesn’t hide the fact that you’re basically rapping utter nonsense.

Oh and if I hear any more references to that Chris D’Elia impression of Eminem one more fucking time I swear to god…


------------ 

 


“Truth Hurts” is not going to be making my best list for the second year in a row.

For as talented as Lizzo is, this song does not hold up nearly as well one year later.  I still stand by it making my best list last year and I still like it a lot, but this song aged like rotting produce.  It feels more like a dated meme than it does a quality song.  How it had enough points to make a year-end list again is beyond me.

But even back in 2019, I thought Lizzo’s other huge hit was the better of the two songs.  And while this definitely doesn’t feel like it belongs on 2020 year-end list either, I still like it as much then as I do now.


19. “Good as Hell” – Lizzo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmbmeOgWsqE


Can we just agree to only let Lizzo do self-empowerment anthems from this point forward?  I would be perfectly okay with that.  Because she is the only one who is consistently good at them in this day and age.  And this one is no exception.  For awhile, this song absolutely made me feel good as hell.  Lizzo just comes from such a honest place that I truly appreciate her.

I for one think it is interesting that Lizzo only seems to be doing well with songs prior to her big break.  Which makes me question if Lizzo is really going to have a sustainable career moving forward.  I think that she will, but the fact that she has had two flop singles off that album last year is concerning moving forward.  Granted “Juice” should be the one that got big since it was everywhere and only peaked at 80 something.

Honestly avoiding talking about the song itself because the only reason this song isn’t higher is because it’s 2020.  I don’t feel good as hell.  And while this song does put a smile on my face and I really like it, it just reminds me of better times that I wish were still here.

But when that day comes when the pandemic does finally end, I think we can all agree that we will be feeling truly good as hell again.


---------

 

….well fuck.  He did it again.

 

18. “Laugh Now Cry Later” – Drake (featuring Lil Durk)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFm7YDVlqnI


I know you guys.  I’m sick of Drake too.  I’m sick of him never truly going away from the cultural zeitgeist.  I’m sick of him flooding the charts with minimal effort music.  I’m sick of him constantly trend hopping.  I’m sick of him being the most stagnant artist on the planet.  But I’m not going to sit here and say that he’s untalented.  Because when he wants to try, he is still very interesting as an artist.  I fully understand why he isn’t going away.  He doesn’t want his time in the spotlight to end and he’s very scared of what will happen when that day does come.  He has released many songs like that and “Laugh Now Cry Later” is yet another exploration into that topic.  What can I say?  Songs like that still make Drake a very interesting artist and he succeeded once again here.

And this is easily one of the best sounding songs of the year.  J. Cole’s “Middle Child” has brought back horns into trap music in a big way.  And while I liked the horns on that song too, I love them here.  They only add to the grandiose sound of Drake’s insecurities as a performer.

And while most Drake cosigns tend to flop after their big collaboration, I hope that Lil Durk manages to stick around.  I thought he was good prior to the big Drake collab and the songs he has pushed post this one are promising too.  Got to love anyone who throws shade at 6ix9ine.

I know this is the lead single to that new Drake album coming out in a few weeks.  I hope it’s not another overlong bore, but even if it is, at least this will probably be an album highlight for me either way.

 

--------------------- 



 

I’m still not sold on Luke Combs.

 

I’ve tried and tried to see the appeal of this guy.  This guy who seems to be the most successful country artist right now.  He is seemingly the only country artist who can actually get an album bomb on the Hot 100.  And more importantly, he has the type of presence that should make me, a guy who has been longing for the return of traditional country music, a fan.  And I’m sorry to say this but I just don’t like his voice. 

He’s a technically sound performer for country music yes, but just because you have the voice doesn’t mean you convey the message of your music well enough to leave a lasting impact.  And that’s what most of Luke Combs music is to me.  It goes in one ear and out the other.  Well except for this one song.


17. “Even Though I’m Leaving” – Luke Combs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7kqqmr2HWI


Yeah the universally agreed best Luke Combs song is his best song.  And I can absolutely understand the appeal of why it is.  Just like “Marry Me” by Thomas Rhett two years ago, it tells a good old fashioned story that just absolutely leaves you reeling hook line and sinker. 

It has three different scenarios involving a father and a son.  Story one is about the son as a kid afraid of the monsters under his bed and wanting his father to stay with him, but his father basically using the chorus of the song to tell him that he knows his song has the courage to fall right back asleep but he’s down the hall if he needs him because he isn’t going anywhere.  Story two is about the son joining the military and calming his father’s nerves with the chorus of the song to let him know that he will be with his father in spirit while fighting for his country.  And the most tragic of them all is story three, where the father is on his deathbed and the son is not ready to let go of him.  With the dying father using the chorus of this song to let him know that he will be with his son in spirit.

That final story is the one that ties me in every time.  I have a very close relationship with my father and while my father is thankfully still with me, I can just visualize each one of these scenarios with my father and just shed a tear thinking about what could happen when that day finally does come where my father passes on.  It’s a very effective song and while I still think Luke Combs has a way to go as a performer to really make a song like this really bring on the waterworks like some of these country songs I listened to growing up, I will give him credit as a songwriter because he is one of the two songwriters of this song.  Job well done.

 

------------

 

https://www.okayplayer.com/music/juice-wrld-reportedly-had-2000-unreleased-songs-posthumous-album.html#:~:text=Juice%20WRLD%20reportedly%20recorded%20thousands,might%20be%20in%20the%20works.

Can we please not?

I mentioned this a couple months ago when I talked about that Pop Smoke song that’s still in the top twenty as I was doing this write-up; hell it even cracked the top ten.  Studios exploiting artists after they pass just leaves me feeling super uncomfortable.  Especially when they transform their visions to mend their own narrative.  Did Pop Smoke want to be the next 50 Cent?  I don’t know, but having 50 Cent help executive produce his posthumous album surely added to the studio’s narrative and made it happen.

I sense a different sort of meddling when it comes to Juice WRLD’s album.  Sure he was promoting this album coming out shortly before he passed late last year as it got delayed to the summer of this year.  But the sort of meddling I sense with this album is more along the lines of industry malpractice.  His studio allowed Juice to self-destruct the way he did and the fact that they are still trying to profit off of this kid’s introspections even after he passed rubs me all sorts of wrong ways.

For the record, I don’t think this album is bad.  Not at all.  It is indeed quite good and I know a couple people that felt like this album spoke to them.  And they probably are not the only ones who felt this sort of emotional attachment to it.  Juice airing out his troubles like this even before he passed helped a lot of people who felt similar.  That doesn’t make it feel any less unclean though because it was definitely done that way by design.

If his label managers cared about him the slightest bit, they would have listened to not even just his newer music, but his older music all as warning signs as to what was to come.   I can surely tell that his handlers pushed him further down that hole as the kid was clearly screaming for help.  Who knows what would have happened if Juice even tried to seek help for all his addictions?  I honestly don’t want to dig deeper down that rabbit hole because I don’t want to think people are that cruel that they would purposely let kids like Juice WRLD self-destruct the way that he did to the point of overdosing.  But you never can know and entertainment industries tend to have all sorts of bad people on top….

…speaking of which, Doctor Luke produced the Juice WRLD song on my best list.


16. “Wishing Well” – Juice WRLD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5i-UnuUKUI


This is the most heartbreaking song on the album and it is admittedly excellent.  Originally recorded as a deep cut from a year or so ago called “Lauryn Hill”, this song is just devastating to listen to as it claims line for line how Juice WRLD’s life would turn out.  Absolutely tear-jerking and one of my favorite songs Juice has ever done even though I rarely seek it out due to how hard it hits.

Fuck Doctor Luke.

R.I.P. Jarad Higgins


---------------

 

That last one took a lot out of me.  Let’s talk about something a little more light-hearted.


15. “Savage” – Megan Thee Stallion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOxj2ROIxok


…now that’s more like it.  It’s interesting that the original is the one that’s credited on the 2020 year end list when the remix was the one that really took it off.  Which the remix ended up growing on me too.  What can I say?  It needed Beyonce to make it sound complete.

But this isn’t about Beyonce.  It’s about Megan Thee Stallion.  Who along with Roddy Ricch were the biggest emerging stars from this year.  I’m absolutely 1000% a fan of this woman, who I think has a super bright future if her label doesn’t mishandle it properly.  I mean come on Atlantic Records.  She’s had three debut albums now.  You’re not fooling anyone by saying last month’s was the REAL first.  What I love about Megan is her personality.  A real accurate comparison point to me is she’s the 2020’s Missy Elliott.  A woman who has great technical skills and oozes with natural charisma. 

And while I’ve loved nearly every single she has pushed, the right single was her first number one.  It accurately describes why it is easy to love Megan.  She is everything the hook says she is: savage, classy, bougie, ratchet, sassy, moody, nasty.  In all the best ways possible.  I mean you really need to have personality to really make your listeners believe that you are everything you say you are and Megan sounds fly as fuck while doing it.

Hope this leads to years and years of Megan making good music.  I'm all for it.


------------ 

 

So I’ve talked about the decline in the importance of radio the past few years doing these lists.  Well that’s still true for many genres, but it is a lie for one genre after doing more research.

Country music is now bigger than it was ten years ago thanks to higher audience viewership due to radio.  The genre also has a bigger streaming presence year over year as well.  So I would like to take this moment to apologize to all the forty year old soccer moms and good ole boys and girls down in Nashville for saying something so false.

This is all build up for another country song making this list.


14. “I Hope You’re Happy Now” – Carly Pearce & Lee Brice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBBhyMYnwCw


And you know what other good is coming from the country genre at the moment?  The women are back and making huge hits again.  Yeah after years and years of country being a pre-dominantly male genre, the women are getting some of the biggest hits of the year.  And I’m all for it.  Most of my favorite country songs of the last twenty years have been by women and the males aren’t saying many new things right now.  They’re going through the same check boxed lists that they’ve been going through for far too long now.  Let’s let the women shine.  And one of the best ones out there right now is Carly Pearce.  Seriously hope she gets more hits after this one because every hit she has had from the genre is pretty damn good.

Yeah I know, there is also a male on my favorite hit country song of this year, but I don’t think this song would have nearly worked as well if it was just one person singing it.  Because this is the type of country song formula that I grew up loving as a kid.  The mature break-up song where both partners are trying to be happy and hoping for the best.  It’s a more mature version of “I Hope”, as song that I do like, but hated how the awful duet was the one that got credited.  The instrumentation on the former sounds more neo-traditional and instead of being self-righteously pissed like the latter, these two are still upset but they appreciated while they had while it lasted.

And the vocal chemistry between Carly and Lee is fucking excellent.  They complement each other very well and they fit in perfectly as the roles the song calls for.   Listening to them sing to each other about being messes and wrecks, while still hoping that they find what they are looking for is just the most devastating vibe of the year.  I genuinely hope that we keep getting more songs like this because these are the bones that made country music relevant in the first place.

 

-------------------- 

 

Talk about a song that would be in my top five if it wasn’t for one huge problem.


13. “Supalonely” – Benee (featuring Gus Dapperton)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rb6Scz-5YOs


I’m not kidding.  This song would be a lot higher if it wasn’t for that one major flaw.  And that’s the guest rapper.  I’m not going to even pretend I know a single thing about Gus Dapperton, but he sucks.  He just fucking sucks the momentum out of the entire song.  He is a non-presence that puts the song on halt for like twenty seconds so he can talk about how he doesn’t want to mess things up.  Well buddy, you sure messed up this song’s chances of being perfect.

Because everything else about this song is an absolute ironic delight.  In a year chalk full of pandemic related songs, this was the one that I related to the most.  I wanted to spread faux happiness in such a depressing time, when in reality I was just as depressed as everyone else was.  Even removing any sort of pandemic related subtext out of this song, I’ve been in this song’s situation before.  Struggling to get your emotions under control while feeling absolutely down on yourself.  I mean haven’t we all?

Making this song upbeat absolutely adds to this song’s greatness.  All the pandemic songs good or bad were just absolute dullards to listen to.  “Supalonely” was the only exception and I’ll always remember it because of the retro vibes this song gives off.  Good luck getting that second hit Benee.

 

-------------- 


As we make it through the first year of our new decade, I’ve got to admit, I’m still nostalgic for the beginning of the last one. 

And no, it’s not entirely due to 2020 being the worst year ever.  But I just really miss when pop music felt as important as it once did.  The larger than life personalities.  The insanely catchy songs.  Pop music was just significant in the cultural zeitgeist compared to now where it is an afterthought.  So needless to say, I’ll take any sort of throwback to that era whenever I can get a hold of it.

 

12. “Rain On Me” – Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoAm4om0wTs 


Leave it to Lady Gaga, basically the last of a dying breed of early 2010’s popstars, to give us a nostalgic bop in a time we desperately needed one.  Honestly, “Rain On Me” was a very fascinating hit this year.  Despite it sounding like an early 2010’s pop smash, it was the tale of two different eras of pop.  On the one hand, you have Lady Gaga who has a flashy personality as a performer.  And on the other, you have Ariana Grande, whose personal life is her personality as a performer.  It almost feels like a passing of the guard moment in a way since Lady Gaga seems to be transitioning into the role of your mother’s favorite pop singer while Ariana Grande is basically one of, if not the biggest, pop star in the game at the moment.

Well if that’s the case, mother Monster has still got plenty left in the tank.  And if anything, she picked the right collaborator to work with.  It’s easy to be tired of Ariana right now since Scooter is still refusing to give her a fucking break, but when Ariana and Gaga have such great vocal chemistry, who am I to complain?  And this beat just fucking slaps.  While “Chromatica” the album; while still good; left a lot to be desired when it comes to Gaga retreading electropop ten years after her last album to do so, this was one of the album highlights as it sounded far more like 90s dance pop/house music.  It is seriously one of my favorite productions of the whole year and BloodPop deserves a ton of credit for his mixing. 

But the thing that really drove this to being as high as it did was the message.  I think we all needed to hear this message in 2020, a year full of dour and depressing music that I’d rather be dry but at least I’m alive.  For the longest time, I thought that line was drunk instead of dry because Gaga previously mentions that she isn’t sober in this song.  She is drinking to cope with the pain that is the world around her.  But she is still thankful to be here despite all the uncertainty.  And honestly, that’s where I’m at too.  Yes the world sucks, but I’m thankful to still be alive at this point in time. 

 

-------------- 

 

These next two are basically a tie.


11. “Watermelon Sugar” – Harry Styles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E07s5ZYygMg

 

10. “Adore You” – Harry Styles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF-r5TtlT9w


What else can I say except Harry Styles had a great 2020?  He easily has the most successful solo career of all his former One Direction mates.  And he just seems to love making throwbacks to the music of yesteryear.  Which is a huge plus for suckers like me.  But Harry has seemingly taken that next step over the past year from being the most recognizable face from One Direction to being a big named popstar.  He had one of the best-selling albums of the year, got hired for more acting gigs, got a number one hit on the Hot 100, and even got into it with Candace Owens about the classifications of masculinity. 

Honestly I flip flopped throughout the year which one of these songs I liked more and I’m still indecisive as the year came to an end, so I’m just placing these two together next to each other for now until that day comes where I finally make up my mind.

“Watermelon Sugar” was the summer song I badly needed in a summer where we really had like two true summer sounding songs.  Of course “ROCKSTAR” was the summer song that represented what America was going through this summer.  But “Watermelon Sugar” felt like what we would all have listened to if the summer was about having good fun vibes.  It just brings me so much joy and honestly this is what “Yummy” wanted to be…except good.

And then you have “Adore You”.  The song I feel like will keep growing on me as the years go by.  It’s going to be a modern pop classic and despite its super high year end ranking, people will look back in utter shock that it never even cracked the Top 5 during its initial chart run.  It is a straight forward pop song about just a guy loving on a girl.  Or in this music video’s case, a fish.  And really, this was the type of 80s style love song that I truly miss from that era. 

I’ve read that Harry Styles is influenced by the music of yesteryear and I believe it.  The fact that one of his main modern influences is Father John Misty makes too much sense.  Granted, he is the store brand version of Father John Misty because let’s face it, he only wishes his music was as excellent as his.  I would rather be known as the former One Directioner that makes good music rather than flopping spectacularly ala Liam Payne.  Keep it up Harry!


-----------

 

So by now, I’m sure most streamers are enjoying looking at their Spotify Wrapped or Apple Replay lists.  Checking out which songs are their most listened to throughout 2020.  Would you like to know what topped my list?


Eee err


9. “The Box” – Roddy Ricch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNZqm3dxd2w


Sure there were eight songs better to me on this list, but none that I would come back to as much as I did “The Box”.  Which I keep finding more and more to love about this every time I listen to it.  But the one thing that still remains true to this day after my first listen, Roddy Ricch is going to be a superstar for many years to come.

I mean my god, this dude is super talented.  I just keep noticing more and more things that I love about this song that I missed previously throughout this year.  Like the amount of times his flow switches throughout the song.  Seriously, he has a new delivery or pitch every ten seconds.  You have to be really confident in your skills to do something like that and still make it sound so natural.  That’s fucking impressive. 

And then there were the lyrics themselves that just got jammed into my head throughout the year.  I did not expect so many of these lines to stick with me all year, but here we are nearly a year later that I can do:

My Top Ten Most Memorable Lines From “The Box”:

10. “I’ll lay his ass down on my son or my daughter, I had the Draco with me Dwayne Carter”
9. “I got the mojo deals we been trappin like the 80s”
8. “Shawty call me Crisco cause I pop my shit”
7. “Got a bitch that’s looking like Aaliyah, she’s a model”
6. “I done out my whole arm in the rim, Vince Carter”
5. “And I really wanna know, where you at at”
4. “I’m a 2020 presidential candidate I done put a hundred bands on Zimmerman shit”
3. “Bitch don’t wear no shoes in my house!”
2. “Told ‘em fuck 12, fuck SWAT”

….and you know what my number one is if it isn’t already obvious…..

That eee err.  That one adlib.  It never left my fucking head the moment I heard it and I still find myself eee err-ing throughout all of 2020.  It’s what spawned millions of memes, millions of TikTok’s.  And I absolutely get it.  It’s just infectious.  It’s the earworm of the year.  I guarantee you years from now.  Anywhere from two to twenty.  That eee err will end up becoming one of the most sampled bits in songs for years to come.

 

------------ 


I mentioned on the worst list that despite this being a great year for music, the hit singles as a whole did not spark as much conversation points like it did say last year for example.  Well there was one hit single that was an exception in 2020.


8. “WAP” – Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsm4poTWjMs


The moment “WAP” came out was one of the most memorable moments of the year for me.  Everyone and I do mean everyone had something to say about this song.  It became a center point of think-pieces for weeks.  And if it wasn’t for BTS manipulating the sales chart, WAP would have been one of the longest number ones of the entire year.  It just felt that important in a year where most of our number ones didn’t really leave much of a cultural impact.  You didn’t hear Ben Shapiro embarrass himself trying to overanalyze “Savage Love” is what I’m trying to say.

A lot has been said about “WAP”.  And I mean A LOT.  That’s what happens when people get that explicit about sex.  But it really takes true great music that makes a song much more than just controversy and titillation (pun intended).  This is a true classic banger with two heavyweight rap titans dropping bars with attitude and relative ease.  Cardi and Megan delivered a genre redefining anthem in a year that sorely need some unabashed raunchiness.

Unless you are listening to the clean version.  Which is a very tempting number one for one of the most hilarious moments of the year.  Wet and gushy....fucking hilarious.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to enjoy every single hilarious moment from this overly analyzed piece of excellent.  Now what is that thing dangling at the back of my throat again? 

 

---------

 

Make no mistake.  In a worse year, this next one would be so much higher up on the list.  And despite only being number seven, this artist was my personal favorite hit maker of 2020.


7. “Break My Heart” – Dua Lipa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj2U6rhnucI


I told you all to invest in Dua Lipa three years ago and she is surely paying those dividends now.  It is only a matter of time until she debuts an album at number one and sells out arena tours when concerts eventually come back.  Cementing her status as one of the best pop stars working today.

Honestly, we didn’t deserve Dua Lipa in 2020.  Future Nostalgia is an aptly titled album because Dua helped bring retro pastiche back in a BIG way.  When Roddy Ricch said that we were trapping like the 80s, little did we know how much great retro pastiche was soon to come.  And Dua Lipa was at the forefront of that movement even before all that.  Her music just felt like it came from happier and better times than 2020.

Which leads me to “Break My Heart”, which I wouldn’t even consider one of my top three favorite tracks off that album.  But the moment I heard that INXS “Need You Tonight” sample, I loved it immediately.  

And a lot of my love for this song does indeed have to do with that sample.  “Need You Tonight” is probably my favorite INXS song mostly because it perfectly demonstrates just how amazing this group is.  Sampling one of the best songs to come out of the 80’s is a very ballsy move and reworking it into a sexy disco-funk pop gem.

I would’ve stayed at home ‘cause I was doing better alone

....Dua Lipa.  Supporting stay at home before staying at home became cool.  We truly doesn’t deserve this woman.

 

----------- 

 

For my next song I'd like to build up the anticipa- UNH UNH UNH UNH


6. “Circles” – Post Malone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXhTHyIgQ_U


Yeah I know.  I got just as tired of this charting as much as the next person.  The fact that the pandemic basically killed the radio’s effectiveness to figure out what people are ACTUALLY listening to had a lot to do with songs like this and “Blinding Lights” become not only some of the biggest songs of the year but some of the biggest songs of all time.  In any other year, “Circles” would have not been nearly as successful as it ended up becoming.  But in a way, I’m glad that it did.

This song’s staying power through 2020 just kept growing on me throughout the year.  Honestly, who can’t relate to going in circles throughout so many aspects of our lives?  Especially in the hellish landscape all of us are suffering through.  This song may be about a relationship gone cold, but it conveyed a new layer of somberness as we had to adjust to this temporary landscape 2020 delivered onto us.  That’s why it stuck around as long as it did.  Not due to overplay.  Because it was a fucking mood.

I honestly don’t even regret not officially placing this on my best list last year.  That’s what happens sometimes when songs chart for multiple years.  They just grow on you.  And I absolutely adore this song now far more than at any point I did last year, and I liked it a lot then too.  Not sure what comes next in the career arch of Post Malone, but hopefully we get more 70s styled soft pop-rock like this.  He’s really damn good at it.

 

---------------- 

 

…….

5. “Blinding Lights” – The Weeknd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NRXx6U8ABQ


…..Blinding Lights is not topping my best list.

Yes this is as much as a shock to me as it is to you all reading.  Didn’t I once call this having the potential to be one of my favorite songs of all time?  Hasn’t it indirectly topped every one of my seasonal rankings?  This song is still as spectacular as I claimed it to be throughout the entire year.  It is one of the best damn songs I’ve ever heard from a technical standpoint.  It has some of the most brilliant musical construction I’ve ever heard.

All of this is true.  It is song of the year for a reason.  It’s the pinnacle of excellence that will become the career defining song of one Abel Tesfaye.  But it’s also going to become the staple of retail playlists for the forseeable future and I’m not ready to accept that yet.

As most of you know, I work in retail.  And the one thing that will forever be true about working retail is that the playlists are the most generic vanilla songs imaginable.  Not all of the songs on these playlists are bad mind you, but they end up becoming overplayed to the point that any sort of likening you might originally have to the song will be beaten out of you.

And guess what song got added to my retail playlist as of three months ago?

I have yet to get sick of it yet thankfully.  That’s why it is on this best list and would even be on this best list if overplay killed it for me.  But the more I hear it, it just doesn’t have the personal attachment I feel The Weeknd has to most of his hits.  Hell let’s compare it to his other hit from this year “Heartless”.  I think The Weeknd has more personality on that song than he does on “Blinding Lights”.

But even with that minor nitpick, I will never not love this song.  It’s excellent and I hope that never changes no matter how many times a day it gets drilled into my head.

Be nice to retail workers folks!

 

----------- 

 

How did we get from here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIXJcmcnnhg

To here:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZYxFY4lqW8

In approx. five years?!


4. “Ballin’” – Mustard & Roddy Ricch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS0h2-hy9rw


Yep Roddy Ricch is once again on my best list.  This guy literally did no wrong in 2020.  And while he absolutely kills his part of the song because it really is a self-fulfilling prophecy about his ascension in the music industry; he’s not the focus of this entry.

I want to talk about the newly christened Mustard because his production is the absolute star of the show for me.  How he reworks 702’s “Get It Together” into a rags to riches sounding anthem was just glorious production work.  And that whole solo album just had so many perfect ten’s (once again, pun intended) of production work.  This is the type of music Mustard clearly wanted to make this whole time and I’m starting to wonder if he produced the shit that he did for so long just to make it in the music industry.  Because he went from making the coldest darkest beats to fun vibrant anthemic music in the course of five years.  That’s one hell of a career arch.

For the record, this isn’t the only Mustard & Roddy Ricch collaboration from this year.  And while “High Fashion” is also a good song, it just didn’t resonate with me the same way for me that this one did.  The latter was just a tad dreary and hollow, which was the point of this song.  This one just works for me due to how uplifting and validating this story ended up.

You absolutely deserve that producer of the year award just for this song alone man.  Mustard really is on that beat, hoe.

 

---------- 

 



What I like about Halsey is that she is raw and ambitious and it comes across in her music.  That’s why I’ve always come to her defense because this is her.  For better and for worse.  Her biggest hit “Without Me” is easily her worst hit to me at the same time.  Despite absolutely putting every ounce of heart and soul to shaming G-Eazy for being a terrible boyfriend and it succeeding; I just think it is dirge.  It is an unpleasant sounding song from a vocal and audio standpoint.

So why did all her follow-ups end up being so much better than her biggest hit?


3. “You should be sad” – Halsey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nBFqZppIF0


Seriously.  Every song Halsey has released since “Without Me” is fantastic.  Every.  Single.  One.  If “Nightmare” and “Graveyard” ended up being hits, I would have placed them on this list.  Hell “Manic” is one of the best albums of the year.  Every song on there was great…except for “Without Me” but even then it fits on the story this album is telling.

I’ve been waiting for years for Halsey to make the songs as good as these.  It’s the complete reverse of what I was expecting from her when “Without Me” ended up becoming one of the biggest pop songs of all-time.  Instead of doubling down, she made the music she wanted to make.

“You should be sad” is a country-pop hybrid that makes too much sense.  There are plenty of country songs by women about kissing off lovers who did them wrong.  So why not have Halsey add onto that genre’s legacy by doing one herself?  Halsey is one of the few popstars who mixes genres so adding country into her music only makes sense.

And man, what a kiss-off this was.  Killer line after killer line.  If G-Eazy’s career wasn’t in shambles already, this killed it for me.  Now his music videos are going straight to Pornhub…yes that happened.  If shock value is what your career has resorted to, then you’re finished.

Let the Halsey era truly begin.

 

---------- 

 

This is America:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

I can’t think of anything else to say about this song other than it was ahead of its time.   Because this song is more profound now in this social climate we are living in than ever before.  Sure it left an impact on 2018, but I think this music video in particular has aged like fine wine and I loved it back then too. 

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/07/03/us/george-floyd-protests-crowd-size.html

As we are in the midst of one of the biggest social movements in American history.  Enough is enough of racial injustice.  I’m a white male and I grew up privileged due to my skin color.  I don’t know what it is like to walk in a black man/woman’s shoes but I know damn well that there should not be a difference now or quite frankly ever.

Now more than ever before, we had artists speaking up and speaking out about the Black Lives Matter movement.  We even got a major hit out of the protesting and it came from…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbEHRrq7xwU

….no fucking way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUEqPtVGIpE

Really!?  It came from this guy!?

 

2. “The Bigger Picture” – Lil Baby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VDGysJGNoI


You know what, I shouldn’t be surprised by this.  Because in 2020, I finally started to get glimpses that Lil Baby does have actual things to say in his music other than all of the overplayed and overdone clichés.  Sure he still unfortunately has plenty of songs that are those clichés, let’s not get too crazy here.  He knows what gets him hits.  But there were a few instances like on “Emotionally Scarred” where Lil Baby showed introspection about what happens after his fame dies out.  And you know what, I appreciated the few moments of good we did get on that before we went back to the same shit that I don’t like from him.

What was not on that album was “The Bigger Picture”.  Which was shortly released after the killing of George Floyd that led to the social movement we are experiencing before our very eyes.  And you know what works best about this fantastic song?  That it came from Lil Baby of all people.  Because I don’t know if this song in particular would have worked nearly as well if it came from someone who usually speaks out about injustice like Kendrick or J. Cole.  It’s a protest song that strikes more poignantly because it doesn’t brand itself as such.

Lil Baby’s approach is by being honest that he doesn’t know how to clarify how he is feeling.  He’s frustrated.  He’s confused.  He’s not natural at speaking his thoughts on how to stand up for something that is bigger than himself.  I think that in itself is more moving than just simply saying what’s going on is wrong and it needs to stop.  Because yes while that is the case, it’s much more empowering to hear someone figuring out how he can directly help trying to make a difference instead of saying that he just wishes things would change. 

Might as well start here is right.  People are still protesting right now seven months later still wanting to open the government’s eyes that our system has been broken for too long when it comes to how the police force treats people of color.  I’m not claiming that “The Bigger Picture” helped inspire that thought, but it certainly encapsulated the vibe that enough is enough.  And I couldn’t agree more.  Thank you Lil Baby for speaking up.

 

------------

 

You know what, you guys have sat through enough of these preambles that I’ll just get straight to my number one from this year.


1. “Everything I Wanted” – Billie Eilish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgBJmlPo8Xw


If there was ever a song that perfectly encapsulated how 2020 sounds in a nutshell, it’s this one.  And I loved it back in Winter 2019/2020 then but I definitely love it more now.  The first time I heard it, I thought it was about Billie not being satisfied with fame.  And to an extent, there is still plenty of elements to defend that stance.  But then I saw Billie saying the song is a tribute to her brother Finneas and that only made my love for this song grow.

Everything I Wanted is an exceptional pop song that really shows how much she appreciates the protection her older brother gives her.  And as an older brother myself who has a very strong bond with his sister to the point that I can safely call her one of my best friends, I can absolutely understand the sentiments Billie feels for her brother.  I’ve been there for my sister through many life altering moments she has been through and I’m always willing to go that extra mile to make sure that nothing will hurt her.  Billie mentions that Finneas was there for her when she had suicidal thoughts and her mental illness.  I have been through personal demons of my own that have been helped along the way due to my bond with my sister and vice versa.

The relationship between Billie and Finneas truly is one of the strongest musical bonds I’ve ever come across in my years of writing about music retrospective and present.  They truly bring the best out of each other.  And they’ve only been mainstream for three years now.  Imagine the volumes of great music these two haven’t made yet and they’ve already made plenty of damn great songs already.  Billie Eilish is too great for this pop music climate and we really should appreciate her while she still is around making exceptional music like this.


--------------------




Thank you guys for reading as always.  This one really took a lot out of me, so every single view is greatly appreciated.  Everything I do, I do it for you guys.  Also here is the full ranking of the entire 2020 year end Hot 100 from one being best to one hundred worst:



1. “Everything I Wanted” – Billie Eilish

2. “The Bigger Picture” – Lil Baby

3. “You should be sad” – Halsey

4. “Ballin” – Mustard & Roddy Ricch

5. “Blinding Lights” – The Weeknd

6. “Circles” – Post Malone

7. “WAP” – Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion

8. “Break My Heart” – Dua Lipa

9. “The Box” – Roddy Ricch

10. “Adore You” – Harry Styles

11. “Watermelon Sugar” – Harry Styles

12. “Rain On Me” – Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande

13. “Supalonely” – Benee (featuring Gus Dapperton)

14. “I Hope You’re Happy Now” – Carly Pearce & Lee Brice

15. “Savage” – Megan Thee Stallion

16. “Wishing Well” – Juice WRLD

17. “Even Though I’m Leaving” – Luke Combs

18. “Laugh Now Cry Later” – Drake (featuring Lil Durk)

19. “Good as Hell” – Lizzo

20. “Godzilla” – Eminem (featuring  Juice WRLD)

21. “All I Want for Christmas is You” – Mariah Carey

22. “Don’t Start Now” – Dua Lipa

23. “Rockstar” – DaBaby (featuring Roddy Ricch)

24. “Die From a Broken Heart” – Maddie & Tae

25. “Dior” – Pop Smoke

26. “Hot” – Young Thug (featuring Gunna)

27. “P*$$y Fairy (OTW)” – Jhene Aiko

28. “Come & Go” – Juice WRLD & Marshmello

29. “Blueberry Faygo” – Lil Mosey

30. “Heartless” – The Weeknd

31. “More Than My Hometown” – Morgan Wallen

32. “Mood” – 24kGoldn (featuring iann dior)

33. “Emotionally Scarred” – Lil Baby

34. “bad guy” – Billie Eilish

35. “The Bones” – Maren Morris

36. “Truth Hurts” – Lizzo

37. “Popstar” – DJ Khaled (featuring Drake)

38. “One Man Band” – Old Dominion

39. “Panini” – Lil Nas X

40. “High Fashion” – Roddy Ricch (featuring Mustard)

41. “Does To Me” – Luke Combs (featuring Eric Church)

42. “Life Is Good” – Future (featuring Drake)

43. “The Woo” – Pop Smoke (featuring 50 Cent & Roddy Ricch)

44. “death bed” – Powfu (featuring beabadoobee)

45. “Say So” – Doja Cat

46. “Dance Monkey” – Tones And I

47. “Lose You To Love Me” – Selena Gomez

48. “Heart On Ice” – Rod Wave

49. “Said Sum” – Moneybagg Yo

50. “Dynamite” – BTS

51. “Toosie Slide” – Drake

52. “Before You Go” – Lewis Capaldi

53. “Rags2Riches” – Rod Wave (featuring ATR Son Son)

54. “Roxanne” – Arizona Zervas

55. “Juicy” – Doja Cat & Tyga

56. “Bluebird” – Miranda Lambert

57. “Sunday Best” – Surfaces

58. “BOP” – DaBaby

59. “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” – Travis Scott

60. “Walk Em Down” – NLE Choppa (featuring Roddy Ricch)

61. “Slide” – H.E.R (featuring YG)

62. “What’s Poppin” – Jack Harlow (featuring DaBaby, Tory Lanez, & Lil Wayne)

63. “Hard To Forget” – Sam Hunt

64. “Got What I Got” – Jason Aldean

65. “Roses (Imanbek Remix)” – Saint Jhn

66. “No Guidance” – Chris Brown (featuring Drake)

67. “One of Them Girls” – Lee Brice

68. “I Hope” – Gabby Barrett (featuring Charlie Puth)

69. “Lovin On You” – Luke Combs

70. “Chasin’ You” – Morgan Wallen

71. “Woah” – Lil Baby

72. “For The Night” – Pop Smoke (featuring Lil Baby & DaBaby)

73. “Homesick” – Kane Brown

74. “Only Human” – Jonas Brothers

75. “Go Crazy” – Chris Brown & Young Thug

76. “Bandit” – Juice WRLD & YoungBoy Never Broke Again

77. “Senorita” – Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello

78. “10,000 Hours” – Dan + Shay & Justin Bieber

79. “Yummy” – Justin Bieber

80. “Mood Swings” – Pop Smoke (featuring Lil Tjay)

81. “hot girl bummer” – blackbear

82. “Trampoline” – SHAED

83. “Savage Love (Laxed-Siren Beat)” – Jawsh 685 & Jason DeRulo

84. “One Margarita” – Luke Bryan

85. “Sum 2 Prove” – Lil Baby

86. “We Paid” – Lil Baby & 42 Dugg

87. “Someone You Loved” – Lewis Capaldi

88. “Nobody But You” – Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani

89. “THE SCOTTS” – Travis Scott & Kid Cudi

90. “Suicidal” – YNW Melly (featuring Juice WRLD)

91. “Party Girl” - StaySolidRocky

92. “ily (I love you baby)” – Surf Mesa (featuring Emilee)

93. “My Oh My” – Camila Cabello (featuring DaBaby)

94. “Be Like That” – Kane Brown, Swae Lee, & Khalid

95. “RITMO” – Black Eyed Peas & J Balvin

96. “If the World Was Ending” – JP Saxe (featuring Julia Michaels)

97. “Falling” – Trevor Daniel

98. “Intentions” – Justin Bieber (featuring Quavo)

99. “Memories” – Maroon 5

100. “Stuck With U” – Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber




If anyone in the comments below would like further insight on any songs I didn't talk about on this list, I'll gladly share.  Next up?  We'll see if I have the energy for my top ten Christmas films list.  But after that?  My Top 10 Best/Worst Films of 2020.  Yes.  I think I have seen enough content this year to generate a best and a worst list.  Which was obviously tougher than normal due to the pandemic.  Stay tuned for that.  Until next time, have a happy and safe holiday!

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Billboard Chart Rankings: Winter 2020 (Christmas Music Edition)

 


.....uuuuuhhhhhh......


....I have to talk about this song again?  What else is there left to say about it?


As you can tell, I'm clearly getting bored by doing these seasonal chart rankings every three months.  So instead of boring you all with even more in depth analysis about Justin Bieber not trying or The Weeknd's ever living dominance off one singular song that would STILL be in the top three if it wasn't for what this blog entry is instead going to be about; let's talk about CHRISTMAS AGAIN!

Over the last six to seven years, Billboard has allowed Christmas music to start charting on the main Hot 100 charts.  Which has led to absolute total chaos for the last month or two of the year.  Songs that have overstayed their welcome get pushed out for older content from anywhere between five to seventy years ago that only maintain relevance around this time period of the year.  And honestly, it fascinates me.  It once again exposes Billboard's eternally broken charting system....or does it?

Honestly, I think it matches the mood of our society fairly well around this time of the year.  Most of us would rather listen to music that puts in the holiday spirit rather than listening to Ariana Grande putting out the most predictable pop song imaginable or even more Drake.  Should the Christmas music be allowed to make year end lists?  Hell no.  But in terms of fitting what the zeitgeist is listening to more than anything else, I think it does fit the bill in that regard.

So let's do it.  For a probably one time thing.  Let's rank the top twenty holiday songs that are charting on this week's Billboard Hot 100 chart.

One exception to this ranking is one song in particular.  There are two different versions of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” on the holiday charts right now.  I will be talking about the higher charting cover by Michael Buble instead of the original by Perry Como just to avoid repeating myself.

Let's not waste any more time, we are talking about....


THE WINTER 2020 BILLBOARD HOT 100 TOP 20 HOLIDAY SONGS RANKED 



THE TERRIBLE TIER


….like you guys thought I would put Christmas music in the terrible tier.  I’m not that cruel…unless you’re “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney.  Which thankfully was not one of the twenty Christmas songs I had to rank from this week, but I can place one of these twenty songs in…

 


THE BAD TIER


“Feliz Navidad” – Jose Feliciano

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8NcQzMQN_U

Not sure how hot of a take this or hating any Christmas song is, but out of all the holiday songs presently in the top 40, this is easily the worst.  The one thing that probably saved this from being in the terrible tier is the musical composition.  It’s pretty good in all honesty.  Probably better than some of the songs above it. 

But for the life of me, I can’t stand these repetitive lyrics.  When your holiday song consists of just four different lyrics, you have really created one of the simplest songs of all time.  And I’m not against simplicity for the record, but this is just uncreative in the most basic of forms.  I mean listen to all the songs above this and you can tell that actual effort was put into these songs in terms of making them actual songs.  This is just uninteresting and uninspiring.  And the fact that this is one of the top five biggest Christmas songs of the past few years is just insulting to me.

 


THE MEDIOCRE TIER


“Happy Holiday/The Holiday Season” – Andy Williams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx2YoHZml8I

Look I like Andy Williams.  Of the many older holiday artists on this list, he is one that stands out for me.  And yes we will get to his all-time classic later, but this is still a classic in its own right.  Mostly due to the chorus, which is fairly good on its own merits.

But man, these verses are the lamest thing.  The following are actual lyrics from this cheesefest:

-So a-hoop dee doop and dickery dock
-The Christmas snow is white on the ground
-Leave a peppermint stick for Ole Saint Nick
-Comin’ down the chimney down
-A big fat pack on his back

Which one of these is worse?  Yes.  Yes they are the worst.

 

“Sleigh Ride” – The Ronettes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkXIJe8CaIc

Honestly this is one of those rare occasions on this list where I think the covers are better than the original.  I like the song itself just fine and this would probably be a few tiers higher if it was any of the other covers.  But man, The Ronettes voices just don’t work with this song.  They hold it back for me from an otherwise good song.

That being said, “Be My Baby” is a fucking classic and I will come to the defense of that song any day of the week.  As well as another Darlene Love song that I'll be talking about later.  But when it comes to “Sleigh Ride”, I’d rather listen to literally any cover of that song over this…I dare any of you to find a cover worse than the original.  I dare you.

 

“A Holly Jolly Christmas” – Burl Ives

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_dI6fVZwd0

My thoughts on this song….are complicated.  I don’t think I can honestly convey my frustrations with this song accurately but I’m going to try.  The simplest way I can describe it is that I think this is the most cynical Christmas song on this holiday song top twenty.  And a lot of that has to do with its wishes for us to have a holly jolly Christmas.

I don’t think this song has aged nearly as well as people think it has.  The last few years especially, the cultural zeitgeist isn’t holly nor jolly.  I feel like the happiness that it tries to spread is fairly cynical.  Saying hello to friends I know?  Kiss a girl under a mistletoe?  Have a cup of cheer?  I’d rather not do any of that right now, no matter how much I love this holiday season.

I like Burl Ives as a singer enough to salvage it from placing it any lower, but oh by golly he’s done better than this.

 

“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Buble

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ5DOWPGxwg

So this is the big holiday song riser this year.  Going from never making the Billboard Hot 100 until late last year to suddenly being one of the top ten biggest Christmas songs of the 2020 holiday season, hell it is even out-charting the original…and I don’t get why. 

Is it because Michael Buble has had an increase following over the years making the mom music that he does?  I mean the guy has always made the safest music imaginable.  I’ve always considered him to be a family friendly Diet Justin Timberlake…so basically modern day Justin Timberlake.  Mixed in with lite Frank Sinatra.  I don’t get how this cover surged so high though unless all the soccer moms out there are streaming it on Amazon Music or Pandora because Spotify and Apple Music are too intimidating.

So yeah, this in the mediocre tier due to Michael Buble being the boring performer that he is.  The song itself is fine, but when it comes to listening to the original or this now beloved cover; no thanks I’d rather listen to the Perry Como version.  Speaking of which:

 

 

THE DECENT TIER


“(There’s No Place Like) Home for the Holidays” – Perry Como

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NT8pIpzDX0g

Honestly this song hits something different in the year that is 2020.  Where a lot of us are confined to our homes due to the pandemic.  Wonder if that’s what has led to the increase in streams and radio play?

Either way, this song is just solid all around.  And a lot of that has to do with Perry Como as a performer who just has that relaxing voice that makes you not have a single worry in the world.  Perfectly fine song that would be a tier higher if I didn’t feel reminded that we are in this dark period of our times.

 

“Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow” – Dean Martin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN7LW0Y00kE

I like Dean Martin.  I think he is a very talented singer who has a lot of great songs in his discography.  It’s a shame that his modern legacy comes down to two holiday songs.  One is his cover of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” which that song would also be in the terrible tier if it hasn’t gotten presently destroyed over the last ten years that any version doesn’t chart anymore. 

The other being this, which I’ve always enjoyed more than the latter holiday song.  But I’m not going to sit here and claim that this is a remotely interesting song.  It’s not.  But I will stand up for it being decent enough because let’s face it.  When it snows outside, this is the first song A LOT of people think of.  So it does serve a purpose in the grand scheme of things that I can listen to it and hum along.  And when I see snow outside, I too think of this song.  But Dean Martin has done so much better.

 


“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” – Gene Autry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9ps42Frh6Y

“Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)” – Gene Autry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysxlUmLOttQ


Honestly going to rope these two together because my association with both of these songs have to do with the Rankin-Bass holiday specials.  Every last one of them is a timeless classic that I still try to watch as many as I possibly can when available.  These movies make me feel like a kid again.  And these two songs in particular bring back plenty of nostalgic memories of these specials. 

But as standalone songs, I can’t say I seek either of these out when it comes to songs that I willingly want to listen to.  I think that’s the hardest part about ranking these Christmas songs is whether I’m willing to go out of my way to listen to them as often as I do or if they just end up becoming audio white noise where they don’t give me much of a reaction.  And that’s sadly where I’m at with these two perfectly fine songs that I don’t seek out on their own accords.

So on that note, let’s jump to the songs that I do seek out regularly this holiday season in:

 

 

THE GOOD TIER


“Jingle Bell Rock” – Bobby Helms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0ajuTaHBtM

Honestly this should probably be in the excellent tier.  It’s admittedly a great song that I absolutely understand why it is one of the most beloved Christmas songs and will continue to be so for the forseeable future.

The reason it is not because this is MY personal tier list.  And if there is any holiday song that I love that I would wish to never hear again, it is this one.  Yes even more so than THAT other one that I haven’t talked about…yet…

And it’s all because of my own personal experience with this song.  I was a band kid growing up.  I played band music from sixth grade all the way through my junior years of college.  Not by my own personal choice but I still know how to play the French horn and the trumpet to this day.  And because I was a band kid, I had to march in every county and city parade growing up.  And guess what song I played EVERY year?  This one.

I can’t listen to this song without making sure my feet are in marching position and without subliminally hearing trumpets and horns and making sure that I am in tune even though I’m not playing an instrument right now…or am I?  Long story short, this song exhausts me.

 

“The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)” – Nat King Cole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwacxSnc4tI

Another timeless classic that has resonated with me the older I got.  Honestly, this song is just warming to me.  It makes me really bask in the moment whenever I hear it.  And a lot of that has to do with Nat’s soothing voice that honestly makes me feel comforted even if I’m stressing out over any last minute shopping or worrying about whether any of my cooking turns out good.  It just makes me soak in my surroundings and feel blessed to be living in the moment.

…but for as much as I like this song, I just can’t stand the opening.  I don’t know what it is about the opening lines: chestnuts roasting on an open fire and Jack Frost nipping at my nose.  But I very much don’t like it.  Otherwise, great song.

 

“White Christmas” – Bing Crosby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9QLn7gM-hY

Okay let’s be real here.  This song is a festive mood for me.  But first, a little about me as to why it is.  I was born in New Jersey and moved to Virginia when I was a kid.  I’ve seen photographic proof that I’ve celebrated a white Christmas in my past.  Ever since then, nada.  And for all the movies, shows, etc. that I’ve seen of people celebrating Christmas with snow in the background, I’ve been longing for snow at Christmastime for going on twenty-five years!  Is it so much to ask for Mother Nature to give me ONE White Christmas south of Pennsylvania?  Is it!?

Song itself is good with Bing Crosby having one of those silky smooth voices that does drag on for longer than it should.  Otherwise, good song.  Please give me Christmas snow!

 

“Last Christmas” – Wham!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI 

I have a bit of a tricky relationship with this song.  For one, I was never the biggest George Michael fan.  I admit the guy had a lot of personality that I wish more male pop acts had around this time period outside of the obvious ones like Prince and Michael.  But for as much as I'm not a George Michael fan, I'll defend his solo stuff far more than I would his band Wham!  Who I'm not a fan of the slighest bit.  They had the corniest songs.  Including this one, which is admittedly overdramatic as fuck.

But what can I say?  I like this song.  The one Wham! song that I know a lot of people aren't fans of, I like a lot.  Weird how that works right?  Well if this song has one thing going for it, is George Michael himself.  He absolutely sells the living hell out of this song.  He performs the song with the gusto that it deserves.  If you're going to fully commit to your overdramatic presence, you better sell the hell out of it and my god does George Michael do just that.

Maybe slowly but surely George Michael's music will finally work for me.  At least his Christmas song I'll always come to the defense of.  I'm just surprised its not bigger than it is to be honest with how many times its been covered since.

 

THE EXCELLENT TIER


Let me start off the excellent tier by stating this.  For years, I’ve been questioning as to whether there are any modern Christmas songs that can become new holiday staples for the years to come?  I’ve seen a lot of attempts from modern artists to try and capitalize off the potential of the Christmas music market and more often than not, they end up being forgotten just as quickly as they are pushed.  But two songs in particular have managed to stick around and end up reaching new peaks year after year.  So maybe they will end up becoming timeless classics after all?  I don’t know.  But I hope so because both are excellent.  First, the one I just listened to for the first time a few days ago:

“Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlR0MkrRklg

Can’t believe it’s taken me six years to listen to this.  But I guess with Ariana’s emergence to the A-list of pop superstars in the last three years, this one-off from 2014 would reappear as a current holiday staple.  Honestly, that does bring up a good point.  Is this only recently catching popularity just because Ariana is one of the biggest popstars alive?  It wouldn’t surprise me.  But at the same time, why aren’t holiday one-offs from the likes of Taylor Swift or the Jonas Brothers not catching on?  Aren’t they also pretty big as well, especially Taylor Swift who has one of the most dedicated fan bases in all of pop music?

Well part of me does think its Scooter using his influence to make this into a new holiday staple.  The guy does know how to pull strings better than anyone else working right now.  But that doesn’t affect the quality of this song, which does remind me of why I fell in love with Ariana’s music in the first place.  This was back when Ariana use to sound like someone who loves singing.  Plus it does deal with a real topic of heartbreak around the holidays.  I mean that has happened to the best of us wishing for a more faithful lover around the holidays instead of just something fake.

Will this stand the test of time once Ariana’s star power eventually diminishes?  Time will tell.  But I love it anyway.  And let’s not forget that another powerhouse singer once released a holiday song early on in her career and it eventually became one of the biggest Christmas songs ever and NO I’M STILL NOT READY TO TALK ABOUT THAT ONE YET.

 

“Underneath the Tree” – Kelly Clarkson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2Fnp_qnE8

And here’s the other one that is on its way to modern holiday classic status.  But this one seems to have had its growth to such more organically.  When Kelly Clarkson’s holiday album came out nearly eight years ago, not a single peep.  It fell off the charts as quickly as it debuted.  But even after listening to the album in its entirety thanks to my parents, “Underneath the Tree” stood out as the clear best song on that album.  It just has a larger than life sound to it which accompanies its performance by one of the best to do it over the last twenty years.

I can’t stress enough that Kelly Clarkson sounds amazing on this.  While in my honest opinion, Kelly Clarkson did not have a single good hit song in the 2010’s, she more than made up for it by this one song.  A song that will stand the test of time and keep getting larger and larger in the pantheon of all-time great Christmas songs.

 

“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” – Darlene Love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV8x7H3DD8Y

…and speaking of great vocal performances, here we have Darlene Love.  Honestly sometimes it just takes a vocal performance to really make a good song great.  And simply put, that’s what happens here.  This song’s greatness is made solely due to Darlene Love herself.  She is just amazing to listen to.  The song itself is good as it is about a woman who just wants her man to come home for the holidays.  Very simple topic, yes.  But the way Darlene sells it is along the lines of that she will not take no for an answer and you need to be here RIGHT NOW.

You know what’s amazing to me?  Even as she is pushing 80, she is still singing this song like she’s 30.  I mean I just binged New Girl again and her guest spot in Season 6 singing this at the end of the holiday special….damn.  She’s still got it.

 

“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Idl-K8s1GYo

….she was thirteen when she recorded this song.  HOW!?  She has the voice of a woman twice…hell three times her age depth.

If it wasn’t for THAT song that I promise I’ll talk about but not YET, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” would be THE song of the holiday season.  It keeps topping out at number two every holiday season on the Hot 100 and its streaming numbers still grow year over year.  Who knows, someday it might happen and finally top the charts.  And it wouldn’t surprise me if it does because after over SIXTY years on the charts, it is still as timeless as the day I first heard it.

Also, this is a Home Alone household and I won’t ever not tie some of this song’s timeless success without associating it with one of my modern holiday movie classics.

 

“Run Rudolph Run” – Chuck Berry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiadNVhaGwk

…and speaking of Home Alone, I also associate this song’s timelessness to that movie as well.

Honestly, this should be in the good tier because if you know Chuck Berry’s music, this is absolutely not an original sounding song.  It’s literally a combination of his two biggest hits “Johnny B. Goode” and “Little Queenie”.  But honestly who cares if it is just a holiday rehash of his previous hits.  I don’t mind rehashes.  Especially when they still sound just as good and fresh then as it does now.  I just love that rockabilly sound from this time period and I’m glad we still have songs like this and “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” that are keeping that sound alive into the 2020’s.

Oh and to those covers of this song that call it “Run Run Rudolph”, you’re not doing it right.  Next.

 


“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” – Andy Williams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFtb3EtjEic

I know I don’t do number one reveals on these seasonal rankings anymore in order to maintain the surprise for my list seasons, but since I don’t see this making a year-end list anytime soon, I’m just going to come out and say it.  This is my favorite song of this seasonal chart ranking.

It’s a timeless song that perfectly describes what I love about the holidays.  Accompanying it is that big band sound that a lot of these holiday classics have, but don’t feel nearly as big as it does here.  And I think a lot of that has to do with this song itself being a giant love letter to the Christmas season.

And what have I mentioned before these last few blog entries?  I love Christmas.  I love everything about this holiday season and when I think of the many many reasons I love Christmas, this song plays through my head more than any other.

I know I’m not alone in feeling that way which is why it puts a smile on my face to see the devoted following this song has amongst holiday music best lists and as a holiday classic.  I, for one, agree with that notion as it’s the most wonderful Christmas song of all-time.





 

….

……..

…………okay fine let’s end this with THE ONE.


“All I Want for Christmas Is You” – Mariah Carey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

The proclaimed Queen of Christmas has arisen once more.  The present number one on the Hot 100.  The universally agreed upon perfect Christmas song.  The song that makes Mariah hundreds of millions of dollars ever holiday season.  The song that gets replayed to death for weeks upon end until December 26th rolls around and it disappears off the face of the Earth until the following November where it awakens and wrecks havoc onto the pop cultural zeitgeist all over again.  Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” is an excellent perfect Christmas song that has been seemingly replicated many times to capitalize off its success but has yet to achieve similar great heights.  It is a titan of a pop song that will never go away for as long as I shall live.

….and I am getting to the point of never wanting to listen to it ever again.  I actively don’t seek this song out anymore because it has become overexposed.  I mean Mariah herself knows this and has spent the last three years in particular trying to find new ways to profit off of it even more so than she already does.  She has made more music videos.  She has started performing it live.  This year in particular she made a one hour special on Apple TV; which I got an ad for while sharing five of these music videos; revolving around building up to the big reveal that she ends it on…you don’t even need to guess what fucking song it is.  Of course it is this.  It will always be this.  It wouldn’t be anything else.  I’m fucking sick of this song.

But I totally get why I’m fucking sick of it.  It’s because it really does capture lightning in a bottle and maximized all that it can out of it.  All I Want For Christmas is You is not just the perfect Christmas song.  It’s the perfect pop song.  I’ve talked about multiple pop songs before on this blog that remind me why I love pop music.  And of course, this is one of those pop songs.  I love the larger than life sound of Mariah’s voice.  I love the musical accompaniment.  I love how it knows what it is about and doesn’t try to be anything else.  I love this song as much as I am fucking sick of it.

Will it make a best of the year list of mine anytime soon as long as it qualifies?  Nope.  If you think I’m sick of this song now, imagine how I would feel the other ten to eleven months of the year where I don’t hear it.  But it will forever be a Christmas classic that I will never deny its place as an all time classic.




 

 

So there you have it.  That’s Billboard’s Top 20 Christmas Songs on the Hot 100.  And with many and I do mean many other holiday songs also currently charting on the Hot 100, who knows how much positions will change as the years go by.  So will I do this again next year?  Only time will tell if this blog is still continuing or if it’s the same twenty songs being ranked all over again.  Who knows?  What I do know is that I’m thankful for the continued support from readers like you.  Thank you guys as always and look forward to more content coming out soon.  Until next time, thank you guys and I’ll see you again very soon.  Happy Holidays!