Billboard Chart Rankings: Spring 2021

I was willing to wait a little while longer to do this, but you know what?  Fuck it, why not.  There are only five returning songs from the last time I did this two months ago.  All the more reason to do it.  But I ask this question.  Should I still keep doing these?

I mean this idea is really starting to get tired and dated.  I’ll keep doing them as long as you all keep reading them, but eventually something needs to change with this quarterly blog post because I feel like it gives too much away when it comes to my best and worst of the year list.  As well as with the pandemic making the charts fairly stagnant fairly often, there are a lot of songs that just linger in the top twenty much longer than they have any need to.  Let’s be honest, “Mood” by 24kGoldn (featuring iann dior) is not THAT interesting of a song, yet this will be the fourth time I talk about it on my blog.  Do you guys see where I’m coming from?

And honestly, stagnant is my feeling for how 2021 is going as a chart year.  I don’t think the music of this year is that bad to be honest with you all?  I still like a lot of the hits we are getting and streaming is really helping shape the music industry by letting the quality rise to the top through listener selection.  And based off the hits that are sticking around, it feels like the popular genre of the moment is R&B.  This is probably going to be the biggest R&B music year the charts have had in about twenty years and with the quality that we’ve been getting, I’m all for it.  But I feel like we are still stagnant in the terms of the pandemic not letting certain songs die on the radio and with all of the news in the world, music rightfully doesn’t seem to be that important in the cultural zeitgeist.  Hopefully that will change in the not too distant future, but we’ll have to wait and see how the world plays out per usual.

So let’s see what this week’s top twenty has brought to us and see what the music listening public has chosen for us today using this week’s Billboard top twenty.

 

THE 2021 SPRING BILLBOARD HOT 100 TOP 20 RANKED

 

THE TERRIBLE TIER

Justin Bieber is the worst popstar working today…..what?  Wait what is this?  You guys are telling me that his latest single is actually good?  And that I’m just using my justified hatred of one Justice Bieber to beat a dead horse into the ground?  Well I’ll be the judge of that…

…yeah it’s not terrible.  So let’s just pretend that segway never happened and move on to…

 

THE BAD TIER

Look.  I’m not one to be afraid to admit that I don’t get something.  And if I don’t get something, that doesn’t equate to me immediately hating it.  But seriously guys, I do not get this:

“Beat Box” – SpotemGottem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8RHstfrI4

I don’t get why this chirping little idiot has one of the biggest songs in the country right now.  I don’t get why there are like five different versions of this song with one being released today, the day I started writing this transcript.  Lil Nas X really changed the industry with all these remix stat pads.  And that doesn’t include many other rappers releasing different freestyles to this beat.  It’s not even that impressive of a beat!  I’m really trying to see where the appeal is in this song so I kid you not when I say this, but I checked out every single remix and even a couple of the freestyles (I’m not crazy enough to check out ALL of the freestyles).  And I do admit, I did like DaBaby’s remix but that’s because DaBaby can hop on that sort of beat with ease.  And the Pooh Shiesty one was alright, more on him later.

But you know what the worst part of every one of these remixes and freestyles?  The lead artist himself, and the latest challenger emerging for stupidest stage name, SpotemGottem.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy never gets a Wikipedia page because he’s that untalented.  His flow sucks, his bars are trash, and he just doesn’t have any presence as a rapper.  And maybe it is because I had my hopes up that there would be actual “beatboxing” on this song, but the chorus doesn’t make a lick of sense.  I actually do like “beatboxing” and I really hope someday that does make a comeback of some sort, but not because of this incredibly stupid first draft of a song that has somehow blown up.

Please someone explain the appeal of this to me and don’t tell me TikTok because that’s too easy of a reason.  Everything gets popular on TikTok.

 

 

I swear to god Gabby Barrett needs to fire somebody from her production team.

“The Good Ones” – Gabby Barrett

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV7GVjg3TV4

I’m not joking.  Every single song of hers that I’ve heard has absolutely terrible production choices.  And while I thought they made sense in “I Hope”, I can absolutely see why anybody would hate it on there.  It makes an already ugly song, even uglier.  But enough talking about “I Hope”.  Especially the god awful remix (another reason to fire someone from her production team).  It’s been discussed enough.  Seriously, talk about a song that I’ve talked about one too many times on this blog.

So this is her big follow-up and the production choices are immediately the problem from the opening note.  That synth buzz sounds like a dying vulture.  Who the fuck thought that would be a good idea to blast all over the fucking song?  Especially on your soaring love ballad.

The content otherwise is mediocre as well.  I guess it is nice to hear Gabby taking a complete 180 from her big hit and talk about how good her husband is.  Which you know, it is good for your artistic growth to prove that you aren’t going to be a one-trick pony.  But then you realize just by simply doing a Google search on Gabby’s husband and learn that he is a transphobic bigot who is just as much of a Trump supporting evangelist like his wife. 

And you know what, I’m not going to hold that against the song’s quality.  Because I just simply removed the artist from the art.  I’m not going to judge this song solely based on Gabby and her husband being terrible people.  Not everyone shares the same beliefs and if you wanted to really dig through the rabbit hole, you’d find a lot of these artists have skeletons in their closet or shared separate viewpoints from you.  I mean two years ago, Lil Uzi Vert pretty much declared himself a transphobe two years ago in one of his singles, but I know a lot of people who immediately pushed that aside because “Eternal Atake album of the year, fam”.

What I am going to hold against this song’s quality are the god awful production choices.  I was planning on placing this in the mediocre tier, but the more I hear those synths, the more I hate it enough to leave it in the bad tier.  If she keeps choosing to make her songs literally sound this terrible, then good luck maintaining a successful career.

 

 

THE MEDIOCRE TIER

“Back in Blood” – Pooh Shiesty (featuring Lil Durk)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-Tm65i96TY

I honestly haven’t listened to this one all the way through yet up until this point.  Which is weird because my streaming playlists CONSTANTLY recommend this to me.  And whenever I start trying to listen to it, I just start laughing because the guy’s name is “Pooh Shiesty”.  Add him to my ever-growing list of the worst stage names working today.  Really hard to take him seriously especially with this clichéd song about robbing and shooting people. 

Honestly, I don’t think this song would be a thing if it wasn’t for Lil Durk.  Who I’ve really grown fond of over the last couple months.  He’s clearly going to be a big name real soon with all the momentum he has been gaining on the charts the last six months or so.  And Lil Durk really outshines Pooh Shiesty by a considerably large amount with his tighter lyrics and he simply just has a lot more energy.  Compare that to Pooh who just sounds like his name…now that I got that easy joke out of the way; Pooh really just sounds like a low-rent Gucci Mane.  And really, do we need another Gucci Mane in 2021?  Let’s be honest, we don’t.

 

“Astronaut in the Ocean” – Masked Wolf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEg-oqI9qmw

That is one insanely catchy chorus.  I don’t think we’ve had a pop-rap song like this since…I don’t know, NF?  You guys all remember him, right?  The Christian rapper that everyone forgot who had that one big hit in 2018?  Funny that I bring him up because with the amount of lines about God in this song, it makes me wonder if the relatively unknown Masked Wolf is also a devout Christian?  Like seriously, I can’t find anything on this guy except he’s from Australia.  Cool, another white Australian rapper.  Guess we needed another one of those since Iggy Azalea’s career has been dead for like six years now.

But yeah, I like the chorus.  The rest of these lyrics are absolutely lame though:

I believe in G-O-D
Don’t believe in T-H-O-T

Very lame:

Let me elevate, this ain’t a prank
Have you walkin’ on a plank, la-la-la-la

Vvvvveeeeeerrrrrryyyyy lllllaaammmeee:

Energy up, you can feel my surge
I’ma kill everything like this purge (ayy)

Yeah, way to read the room guy.  Thousands of people are dying across the world every day because of “this purge”.  I swear to god this guy’s bars were inspired by dad-joke Eminem.  Chorus is still insanely catchy though.

 

“Mood” – 24kGoldn (featuring iann dior)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrAchTdepsU

Man I’ve taken a journey with this song.  Part of me still kind of likes parts of this song and maybe it should still be in the decent tier.  But I’ve really grown tired of it just for how long it has stuck around.  I really hate using this phrase, but fuck it.  It rings true for this song.  Its success is overrated.

I was touring Talk of the Charts fully operated website for the first time.  Seriously Billboard, you’re getting beaten to on your own statistics by a fucking Twitter account that now has its own webpage?  They have an up to date section for Billboard’s Greatest of All-Time List.  “Mood” by 24kGoldn is as of this writing, is the 44^th biggest song of all-time.  Who knows, by the time its chart run is over, it could possibly be in the top twenty or top ten.  This song….are you fucking kidding me?  This is capitalizing on a weak playing field at its finest and Billboard really should add some sort of pandemic clause or recalibrate its statistics or something because this doesn’t feel right to me.  I refuse to believe this stupid juvenile song about being in a bad mood is that influential of a pop song.

I still stand by the trends this song represents when it comes to helping bring actual rock music influences into the mainstream the same way I do with Post Malone, MGK, etc.  But let’s be honest.  As a song, this is really a simple little nothing of a song that is disposable.

 

“What You Know Bout Love” – Pop Smoke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuodbSVO3z0

A little more than I give myself credit for if we are being honest.  I’m actually growing fairly tired of this one too.  This is a TikTok powered song that has overstayed its welcome as well.  Still probably the best single from that posthumous album so far, but this is no “Dior”, which keeps getting better and better the more posthumous music we get from Pop Smoke’s label.

 

“Best Friend” – Saweetie & Doja Cat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xJUCsyMQes

I’m actually kind of impressed by how damn stupid this song is.  It feels like it was imported straight out of the club boom era from over ten years ago.  Which makes sense for Saweetie, who has made it her thing to sample recognizable songs out of the mid to late 2000’s songs.  And she’s brought along Doja Cat, which means…

(looks at Wikipedia page)

….yep, there he is.  Dr. Luke produced and wrote this.  I swear Doja really needs to stop giving this fucker his career back.

By all accounts this is a bad song, but I can’t help it.  This is stupid to almost the same degree as I thought that AJR song was from a few months ago.  Key word: almost.  Dr. Luke’s involvement almost makes this song too polished to be that degree of gloriously stupid though.

Radio fluff at its finest.  Wouldn't be surprised if this ends up becoming a stable for female buddy comedies in the future when movie theaters reopen and we get more and more new trailers.  It's that interchangeable.

 

 

THE DECENT TIER

Speaking of Doja Cat and Dr. Luke,

“Kiss Me More” – Doja Cat (featuring SZA)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EVVKs6DQLo

Dr. Luke’s involvement with this is minimal believe it or not, with only a writing credit.  But you can definitely still tell his influence is on this song.  And look guys, I know I bash on Dr. Luke aplenty on this blog because he seriously is one of the most terrible people in the music industry.  But just because he is such a terrible human being doesn’t mean he’s not talented.  I give him all the credit in the world for making some of the best pop music of the last twenty years.

So about the song itself, it’s decent enough I guess.  At first, I thought this was limp and lifeless and just a carbon copy of Doja’s huge hit from last year “Say So”.  But I’ve checked it out a few more times since then and yeah I’m starting to slowly get the appeal.  Just like “Say So” it has the same smooth sultry vibe that is infectious as hell.  It feels like it has been awhile since we’ve had a pop song specifically about embracing kissing over anything else.  And you know what?  Kissing is pretty sexy too.

That being said, the one thing I am absolutely getting tired of in pop music lately is the interpolation of “Physical” by Olivia Newton-John.  I mean this is like what, the third time this has been done in a year?  Can we seriously find another 80s pop song to interpolate?  I also feel like SZA could have done so much more on this too.  Her one verse doesn’t last nearly long enough.

But yeah, I need some more time on this one before I really develop a real thought, but its trending upward. 

 

“Rapstar” – Polo G

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2IhccXakkE

So this is our new number one.  I guess it only makes sense with all the huge hits we’ve gotten the last couple years about being “rockstars” and “popstars” that we finally have a hit about being a “rapstar”…too bad it sounds dreary as fuck.  Which also makes sense because it matches the cultural zeitgeist really well.  And I’ll give the song this too.  It’s refreshing to hear a rapper talk about how the money, drugs, bitches, etc. don’t make him content and that he doesn’t have a sense of peace.  There’s a vague sense of triumph amongst going through all the normal clichés. 

I think I need a few more listens to really get this, just like I do with “Kiss Me More” to really collect my thoughts on this.  I am happy for Polo G though.  He seems to be proving to be more than just the guy who had that one hit a few years ago with “Pop Out”.  Another dreary song about going through all the normal clichés when it comes to party songs….wait is this going to be his thing now?  Yeah I need more time with this one…

 

…speaking of “Pop Out”, here’s the other guy from that song.

“Calling My Phone” – Lil Tjay (featuring 6lack)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzd4ydafGR0

Honestly am surprised that the “Pop Out” guys are having sustainable careers and are some of the new major rap names going forward.  The one that I’m more surprised by is Lil Tjay.  Mostly because Polo G released a great album last year and all I’ve seen Lil Tjay do since then is pop up on multiple features since then.  Most notably one of Pop Smoke’s hits from last year “Mood Swings”, which I’ll be honest, was a contender for my Worst List last year.  I just don’t want to hear two guys really getting ultra-specific about the kind of sex they’re going to have with their girls; while also being just so dreary and bored by it.  What a turn on.

But honestly, this song is a lot better than I was expecting.  This song dives into Lil Tjay coming to grasps with a messy relationship coming to an end.  And I think this shouldn’t come as a surprise to you guys since I just talked about songs with this subject matter on my best lists multiple times, but I love songs like this.  Really tugs back at some of my own personal memories.  And 6lack holds down the hook very well too.  Was genuinely surprised by this being pretty good…

…too bad all that goodwill goes to waste in the chorus with those chipmunk vocals.  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?  If it wasn’t for Gabby Barrett’s production choices from before, this would be the most baffling production choice from this whole top twenty list.  And it takes up a good portion of the song too.  Thanks!  I hate it!

Such a shame, this could have been a tier higher if it wasn’t for that infuriating decision.

 

 

And speaking of infuriating decisions…

“Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” – Lil Nas X

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6swmTBVI83k

Talk about trying to strike lightning twice with controversy.  And to an extent…it has worked, but it also hasn’t at the same time.

Yes, I think the controversy surrounding the music video for this song has blown incredibly out of proportion.  Lil Nas X is not promoting satanic worship.  Calm the hell down evangelists, but at the same time though, he does have a point.  With gay people constantly getting ostracized by Christians for their lifestyle choices, are you surprised that he doesn’t have a point when it comes to not believing in God?  I really don’t want to dive deep down the rabbit hole when it comes to this argument because I just think it is conservative news networks overblowing things out of proportion again for shock value.

But speaking of shock value, Lil Nas X lying about streaming services taking down his song in order to boost streams is pathetic.  Lil Nas X’s team not crediting FKA Twigs for certain shots from her video about a year ago is also pathetic.  Lil Nas X once again releasing a half-finished song not even close to sniffing the three minute mark again is pathetic.  That’s starting to become his thing if it hasn’t been obvious already.   The outrage around this song is just pathetic.

It’s a shame though that I don’t like this more because the groundwork is there for a good song.  Just like there is with all Lil Nas X’s hits.  They all have catchy ideas, choruses, instrumentation, etc.  They just have that one piece missing.  It took Billy Ray Cyrus to make “Old Town Road” sound like a complete song.  So maybe we just need a remix to help fill in that missing void for “Montero” to really have it all click for me like it did with “Old Town Road”.  It’ll probably come soon enough knowing Lil Nas X’s track record.

 

“Save Your Tears” – The Weeknd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXYlFuWEuKI

Yet another leftover from the winter charts that has shrunk on me.  I said in that post that this is different enough to stand on its own merits.  It does not.  Like what part was I even talking about?  I can’t even name a single part of this that doesn’t remind me of other 80s inspired pop that The Weeknd hasn’t already done better.  And that’s not even including the GOAT in the room….”In Your Eyes”.  Seriously, The Weeknd has done so much 80s inspired pop that he does have it down to a science, like I said a few months ago.  And don’t get me wrong, this is still a good song.  I’ll gladly take as much retro pastiche like this because it still sounds good.  But it doesn’t really bring anything new to the table or really stand out in discography that includes hits like “Can’t Feel My Face” or that song from last year…what was it called again?  It’ll come back to me.

 

 

THE GOOD TIER

 

“Driver’s License” – Olivia Rodrigo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmDBbnmKpqQ

In a top twenty ranking where a lot of songs have started to shrink since I talked about them last time, this one has only grown on me more and more.  I kept overanalyzing it due it to being such a huge force in the public conscious for two months, but instead of just thinking up reasons for its rousing success, I ruled out the most obvious suspect.  That it’s just a good song that resonates with a lot of people.  And you know what?  I can resonate with break-ups and attachments to certain milestones in my laugh time.  After all, I got stood up for my senior prom and went to go see Spider-Man 3 in my own self-pity and you know what?  I’ve never been to any sort of prom at all in my life.  One of the biggest high school milestones, never been…

RED LIGHTS.  STOP SIGNS.  I STILL SEE YOUR FACE IN THE WHITE CARS, FRONT YARDS!

 

“Up” – Cardi B

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCiBgLOcuKU

This sure does slap, doesn’t it?  Almost to the point that it feels like it was made specifically to trend on TikTok.  Well it worked because it is still trending on TikTok as I write this.  I sure hope that’s not the direction Cardi has planned for that next album because this is like the third single in a row where she’s done that so this is clearly a trend.

That said, I still like this plenty.  These lines still hit and it’s still a hell of a lot of fun.  But this is no WAP.  When you have a song like WAP that is such a game changer; it’s kind of hard to achieve those same heights a second time.  So yeah, probably the most interchangeable Cardi song in her career, but honestly she doesn't have that many misses and even when its this predictable, it still is entertaining as fuck.  So yeah, no complaints from me.  Good song.

 

….so that new Justin Bieber song is actually pretty damn good, not gonna lie.

“Peaches” – Justin Bieber (featuring Daniel Caesar & Giveon)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ0yjYUFKAE

Honestly, I can see this one being a grower the more it lingers around.  Because the elements I do like about this song, I like an awful lot.  Justin Bieber’s chorus is insanely catchy; although not the best time to be spotlighting Georgia in your music…just saying man; read the room.  Daniel Caesar and Giveon are two of the up and coming R&B stars who absolutely take advantage of their guest spots to showcase why they are so talented.  And that beat is infectious.  Like I honestly would just listen to the instrumental version of this song and be almost as satisfied.

Sadly, the one part of the song that I don’t like is Justin Bieber’s verse.  I mean it’s not awful by any stretch and trust me when I say that because Bieber has had a pretty fucking bad stretch of music for the past year or two.  But it’s simply a case of Bieber being completely outshined by the talent he has surrounded himself with.  Like I said earlier, his chorus is really good.  His verse, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about it that is distinct.  It is more or less the same I’m young and in love verse he’s been putting in his music forever now with not a single memorable moment.  Whenever I hear it, I just want to fast forward through those twenty seconds to get back to the chorus and move on to the guest stars.

But yeah, good job Bieber.  Keep releasing more songs like this and maybe you’ll dig yourself out of that hole.  What does that make him now?  One for fifteen?

 

 

“Ruff Ryders’ Anthem” – DMX

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThlhSnRk21E

Rest in Peace man.  I definitely see why this was highest charting returning entry.  This song really developed a cult following after its initial run to become DMX’s defining hit.  But to me, my personal favorite DMX song will always be “X Gon Give It to Ya” followed closely by “Party Up”.  This would be flirting around the top five probably for my favorite DMX songs.  That said, I still like this a lot and its devastating that DMX’s life ended the way it did.  His legacy will last forever and he’s truly one of a kind when we look back on the impact his music left on the hip-hop genre.  We’ll never have another DMX, Rest In Power.

 

 

THE EXCELLENT TIER

“Leave the Door Open” – Silk Sonic (Bruno Mars & Anderson .Paak)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adLGHcj_fmA

Just when you thought Bruno Mars had no other forms of retro R&B left to remake for modern times, he decides to go back in time again but this time with Anderson .Paak.  It’s nice to see everyone fully embracing this song so quickly and so easily.  I’m a sucker for this sort of 1970s soulful hookup jams and this one manages to pay homage to that era pretty damn well.  Honestly this Silk Sonic pairing really is beneficial to both Bruno and Paak.  It is giving Paak the commercial success he’s been trying to find for some time now.  And it gives Bruno Mars some of his credibility back in terms of winning over that coveted indie crowd who thought he wasn’t evolving as an artist and just pandering for Grammys.  In a way, Bruno is still that.  But at least it sounds like he’s actually trying again and not just coming off as a Vegas showman reliving the classics.

 

 

With the stock market being in absolute chaos this year, I’m here to offer you some financial advice.  Invest in Olivia Rodrigo.  This girl is going to be a fucking superstar.

“Déjà Vu” –Olivia Rodrigo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cii6ruuycQA

While it did admittedly take a while for me to embrace Driver’s License, I got this one right away and fully admit to loving it right away as well.  The influences are absolutely there with Taylor Swift and Lorde because I could picture either of them doing a song like this and nailing it just like Olivia has with this.  From all the small details of her past relationship like watching Glee and listening to Billy Joel together to absolutely telling this guy that everything he is doing with his new girl is a sense of déjà vu because they did it first.  And you know what?  I absolutely buy it.  It is incredibly relatable as I’ve definitely in the past look at photos from exes going to places that we went to first or watching movie series that I introduced her to and think, “we did that first".

But yeah I love all those small intricate details that make this feel all the more personable.  Olivia has a real knack for painting a bigger picture at this young of an age and excellent storytelling.  I love every single choice and style this song goes for from the little musicbox in the background and even The Chainsmokers-esque drop in the chorus.  I’m telling you all now invest in this girl.  She’s going to become a big time player incredibly soon and with The House of Mouse backing her, she might become even bigger. 

 

 

 

“Levitating” – Dua Lipa (featuring DaBaby)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUVcZfQe-Kw

Oh yeah, the other song from my last chart ranking that hasn’t soured on me the slightest bit.  Honestly, I keep finding more and more to love about it the more I listen to it.  As a matter of fact, I re-listened to Future Nostalgia for like the umpteenth time the other day.  When you’re able to add onto one of the greatest songs on that album with a DaBaby feature and it works just as well, that’s when you know you’ve got something really special here.  Seriously one of my favorite hits of this year and that second wind this song got from the Grammys made me all the more happier.  It’s rising even further up the charts now and while I doubt this will lead to it becoming a number one, a guy can only dream.

 

 

 

….and that’s the…wait a minute.  That’s only nineteen songs.  Which song am I miss-

 

“Blinding Lights” – The Weeknd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NRXx6U8ABQ

Oh yeah.  All hail our new GOAT.

THE GOAT TIER

So yeah that is the top twenty songs of this week.  Overall, I'd say this top twenty perfectly reflects how the charts are right now.  With more and more of the bigger names out there delaying their albums indefinitely until the world becomes more normal and they can tour and do the talk show circuits; the charts are being operated by names on the come up or current superstars trying to maintain their momentum.  And I think that is leading to a more interesting chart scene if I do say so myself.  Sure I'm missing Kendrick Lamar and Adele like everyone else, but if that leads to some more refreshing newer blood to keep things fresh than I'm all for starting the building blocks for some of the new big names for the 2020s like Dua Lipa and Olivia Rodrigo.  Can't wait to see where the charts go from here, even if it means changing up my format for these seasonal pop song rankings.

So what do you guys think?  Should this format change?  Should I try something a little more different when it comes to talking about the hits of the seasons?  Please let me know because as always, I want to keep these posts entertaining for my loyal readers out there.  Feel free to share whatever insight you can so I can continue to give you all some daily doses of ceratonin.  As always, thank you guys for stopping by.  Until next time!

The Top Ten Best Movies of 2020

 

Sorry this took so long to get out, but I think it was worth it.  At least I finished before the actual Academy Awards like always though.  So way to go for me!  Let's talk about the films I liked from this year!

....ermm yeah, all the classics sure are here....just kidding, 2020 did have some great movies.

It was worth delaying this list a little bit longer so I can talk about the movies that I did like this year.  And in a year where I was stretched to find content to talk about, I got to admit, maybe this best list is not going to be as barren as I initially thought.  Remember how I talked about how my best list was going to have more 6 or 7 out of 10’s than previous years?  Well that only applied to the honorable mentions list.  I think my best list is actually pretty strong. 

I mean let’s not get carried away.  It’s not going to be as strong as the last two years where there were so many damn great movies to talk about.  But there were some pretty good movies that made film this year worth salvaging.  You just had to put forth the effort to find ways to view them.  And I finally did so on so many films that I couldn’t get to watch due to the pandemic initially.

Don’t get me wrong.  The content is still pretty bare bones.  It is not like there were 600+ choices like there are in previous years for film.  And I’m giving you all a heads up, that there are a lot of movies that you guys might not even know existed and more niche category films that only a handful might have known existed more so than ever.  But you know what, those niche films are still worth checking out in their own right and worth being highlighted from yours truly.

And with so many studios finally finding ways to push out some of these infinitely delayed films from last year towards 2021, movie talk can only go up from here.  So let’s get this show on the road.

 

 

Honorable Mentions:

 

Promising Young Woman

Best performance of Carey Mulligan’s entire career.  She carries this movie excellently.  I also enjoyed the direction style choices of first time director, Emerald Fennell.  This woman has a promising bright future ahead of her.  If it wasn’t for the final ten minutes of this movie just not working for me, then it definitely would have made my top ten.  But man, what a disappointing ten minutes that was.  I mean I got it.  It made sense.  But it just did not work for me in terms of trying to make me feel the way this movie wanted me to feel.  Sorry.  I loved 90% of the movie though!

 

Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm

The original was much better.  Sacha’s shtick is really starting to run dry for me when it comes to his material.  But I still got my fair share of laughs from this and I admire the fact that at least he had a legitimate plot for this movie after most of his vehicles being barren of that.  Also all the shots at the previous administration feel rightfully justified.  Although that scene with Giuliani rightfully would leave anyone uncomfortable.  Lock him up.

 

Freaky

Jason Blum does it again.  Definitely the best Vince Vaughn role in the past ten years.  Seriously hope the guy gets more work again after this.

 

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Was super close to making the main list proper.  Chadwick Boseman gives the best performance of his entire career and that’s really saying something because this guy was just so good in so many movies.  It is one of those rare instances that one performance makes a movie and while I think the rest of the movie is good on its own merits, it’s Boseman’s performance that raises this movie a few extra notches.

 

The King of Staten Island

Honestly pretty damn good movie that would make the list proper depending on how you feel about Pete Davidson, which my feelings towards him tend to fluctuate between “he’s pretty funny in more than just SNL” to “good lord please get him as far away from me as humanely possible”.  This is probably the best acting he’s ever done that I’m willing to forgive the fact that this guy annoys me to no end as a personality.

 

Minari

Such a beautiful film.  Steven Yeun is really as great as advertised here proving that he can sustain an actual film career and stop being typecasted as Glenn from The Walking Dead.  Was considering placing this on the list proper but I was still waiting for that one scene in the movie that made me go, wow.  I liked it plenty, but I just did not love it like so many others.  Sorry.

 

Hubie Halloween

This was the sort of stupid garbage that I sorely needed in a year where we could all use a few laughs to get through the misery of 2020.  Not a good movie by any means of the imagination but I liked it a lot more than I expected.  Congrats Sandler.  You get my seal of approval.

 

Now onto the feature presentation:

THE TOP TEN BEST MOVIES OF 2020

 

I think it’s only fitting we start off this list with the movie that brought back my interest in film reviewing.

 

10. The Invisible Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO_FJdiY9dA 

 

And honestly, this film has only gotten better over time.  More than likely due to being the last theatrical film experience I had before the pandemic ruined movie theaters for me for the forseeable future.  If only I can rewind time and tell myself that this would be the last time I sit in a theater for awhile…

But man, what a last movie theater film for me in that case.  Sure I still have my problems with some of the movie logic choices this movie decides to make.  And I can absolutely see that being a downer for many others.  To me though, I’m willing to let it slide because it leads to some pretty good scares from a genre that has become so “jump scare” focused.  These are some legit good horror moments.

What I really still love about this though is how this movie portrays abusive relationships.  It is very realistic how even after you leave your abusive ex, they can still abuse you mentally, emotionally, and physically.  Add in the fact that your abuser is invisible and don’t know when he will appear to traumatize you only adds to the tense mood this movie consistently portrays.  And Elisabeth Moss really nails this performance to the point in one of the most underrated acting performances in the entire year.  Like I legitimately believe she should get some sort of recognition in the awards circuit for her role here.  Especially in a weaker playing field this year due to the pandemic.

Will this lead to the Dark Universe coming back?  Or is this just Blumhouse Studios making something out of nothing once more?  I honestly hope for both.  I’m glad to see Jason Blum bringing back the nostalgic horror properties of yesteryear and giving them a modernized twist.  Just let him run the Dark Universe and watch the results churn out more great films like this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You know when the pandemic really took its toll on me missing the old normal?  The summertime.  The season where all the big budgeted blockbusters normally came out?  Remember those?  Remember sitting in jammed pack movie theaters watching the latest entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?  The newest Fast and Furious film entry?  Highly anticipated sequels to beloved properties?  I missed that feeling especially during the summer time when theaters were still closed and absolutely nothing came out to fill that gigantic void for me.  Although there were a few exceptions… 

 

9. Bill & Ted Face the Music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gPGeAYo3yU 

Really sad that this had to come out during a freaking pandemic of all times for theatrical release.  Would have loved to seen this in a full theater with a bunch of other 20-30 somethings who grew up watching the previous two Bill & Ted movies.  And you know what’s amazing?  This admittedly unnecessary threequel still has the same stupid charm that the others had.

I really missed when comedies like this were so stupidly innocent and naïve.  Because most of the comedies we have in the present are so dark and grim reminding us that the present sucks.  And even though that doesn’t mean I don’t like today’s comedy films (more on that later), I really enjoy comedy films that focus more on just the escapism element of it all that just want to make me laugh and have fun.

Hence Bill & Ted 3.  Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter still have absolutely amazing chemistry together even though they are both in their mid-50’s and haven’t been in a film together for nearly thirty years.  Meanwhile, their daughters played by Brigette Lundy-Paine and Samara Wevaving respectively, also have the same undeniable chemistry.  Watching these four go on their own time-traveling adventures is just such a delight.  Sure you can some of this is fan service-y with the daughters basically having their own Excellent Adventure, while Reeves and Winter get reunited with some cameos from previous films past as well.  But this was the right amount of fan service for me because the Bill & Ted films have that undeniable charm to them and the callbacks have the right amount of time dedicated to them before they become overbearing.

I really hope this movie ends up finding a following of some sort.  Hell I hope all the 2020 films that were released during the pandemic find some sort of following since it’ll be hard to earn their respective budgets back otherwise.  But this one in particular because it goes to show that even the most unnecessary of threequels can still hit the mark when the proper amount of dedication is put-forth.  Plus in times like these, we need films like these to remind ourselves to be excellent to each other and to party on dudes.

 

 

 

 

 

Happy twenty year anniversary to one of the worst promotional tactics in the history of wrestling.  Allow me to elaborate even further because I know not everyone is a wrestling mark like me.  In the year 2000, former major wrestling conglomerate World Championship Wrestling (WCW for short) was the focal point of the buddy comedy film, “Ready to Rumble”.  The movie was about two slackers who go on a road trip to get their favorite wrestler back on his feet after being outed by an awful promoter. 

And in a terrible cross promotion idea, the film’s star David Arquette (a real life major wrestling mark like me) was made the WCW Heavyweight Champion.  Even David Arquette thought it was a terrible idea, but the company thought it would bring in more viewers at a time where WCW was on life support as a company.  It only made things worse as WCW folded in 2001 to what is still the biggest wrestling company in the world, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).

Was giving Arquette the company’s main title the worst move in WCW history?  Honestly, no.  It’s definitely top five, but WCW was already making bad financial moves like overpaying for aging talent, making horrible booking decisions, and exploiting the business as kayfabe so blatantly that your turning away your core audience (The Finger Poke of Doom is the worst move in WCW history ftr).  But David Arquette unfairly and unjustly would get tons of heat from wrestling fans from around the world for many years afterwards.  No matter how much money he donated to the business and how he would help financially support those who lost their life to wrestling; fans still hated a guy who honestly loves wrestling as much as they do.

Well in 2020, David Arquette gave back to the business in ways that I hope will finally make his haters forgive him.

8.  You Cannot Kill David Arquette

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsas3Wixmd0

Honestly, you need to understand the wrestling business and its dedicated fan base to truly bask the full appeal of this movie.  Because the internet wrestling community is one of the most overly analytical fandoms I’ve ever come across.  And this movie is, more or less, David Arquette trying to atone for his infamous moment in wrestling history by giving back to the industry’s die-hard fans by being a full-time wrestler.  Granted it was only for a couple years, but David Arquette fully committed to his promise and performed at indie shows, backyard wrestling events, and even a few semi-major promotions.  If there was a way to appease to his haters, it’s by performing at the lesser known development systems and leagues that the internet wrestling community adores.  And my god, does this make me sympathize with Arquette as a person more so than he has in a long time.  The injuries he sustains, the blood he bleeds, the stunts he pulls…they are all real.  Despite wrestling being a fake sport that has forgone conclusions to all their matches, the moves they pull are all real and what Arquette goes through is all real.  And at a guy his age, he should not be doing some of the stuff he goes through just to make his haters forgive him for a braindead company’s last ditch effort to be relevant twenty years ago.

Honestly, if you still hate David Arquette for that over twenty years later after sitting through this, the problem is you.

 

 

 

 

…I swear this didn’t end up at 7 for the sake of the irony.

7. The Trial of the Chicago 7

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVb6EdKDBfU

Aaron Sorkin does it again when it comes to just making compelling filmmaking with his signature rapid fire dialogue.  This time, he tackles one of the most infamous trials of the 1960’s and this movie is completely built off of Sorkin’s strengths as a writer-director.  I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t made a courtroom drama up until this point.  It reminds me so much as to why I loved The West Wing back in the day.

Of course, don’t look at this movie thinking it’s a play by play documentary as to what actually happened back in 1968.  Because it does take A LOT of poetic license after doing further research into the actual historical events.  Certain events that take place in the movie happened out of order or took creative liberties just for the sake of progressing the movie.  And honestly, I didn’t mind it.  Because it worked for the sake of the movie and it reflects very well as to how the past is currently the present.  I don’t think it’s a shocking development to say that we are living in culturally divided times.  This is the most politically unrested the United States has been since the times of the Vietnam War, with the amounts of protesting, questionable politics, social and racial injustice.  It only made sense that this movie, which has been in development for nearly fifteen years, got released at this point in time of history.  A lot of the events that did happen surrounding the 1968 Democratic National Convention resonate fairly well with everything going on right now.

Outside of that, the acting in this is stellar.  Frank Langella is played very well as the antagonistic judge who is just vile in his mannerisms.  Sacha Baron Cohen should receive recognition this awards season for Best Supporting Actor as Abbie Hoffman because he just steals the room every time he’s on screen.  Hell, even Eddie Redmayne (who I think is vastly overrated as an actor) manages to surprise me with how many layers of depth his character has.

The Social Network will forever remain my favorite scripted Aaron Sorkin film, but The Trial of the Chicago 7 is absolutely high up there.  Check it out y’all.

 

 

This next pick might be shocking.  Shocking in that I think this was one of the best movies of the year.

6. Happiest Season

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h58HkQV1gHY

Is this a perfect movie?  Honestly, hell no.  I may have given it high regards in my review of it, but even I know that this is a flawed movie.  One of the main characters is extremely unlikeable and really hard to redeem up until the very end, with no thanks to her but thanks to another character’s own personal story that relates to her.  This movie also takes full advantage of things that could be fixed via movie logic.  And honestly, there are plenty of aspects to this movie that are supremely cringe.

But dammit, I’m willing to forgive a lot of these movies flaws thanks to how seamlessly it made me feel normal this year during one of my favorite times of any year, the holiday season.  As most of you probably know by now, I LOVE CHRISTMAS.  My unhealthy obsession with this holiday makes me extra kind towards Christmas movies in particular…unless they totally suck like my Top 10 Worst Holiday Movies list (the Best List is coming Holiday 2021 ftr).  And at the time, I thought this was one of the best holiday movies in recent years.  Which still rings true to this day.

If you want to see more in depth analysis of why this is great, read my review of it.  I go into full detail as to why so many aspects of this movie work with its charming cast, smart writing, and its accessibility for making a mainstream LGBT romantic comedy without highlighting it as being different.  Easily my biggest guilty pleasure film in quite some time except without the guilt.   It’s just an absolute pleasure to watch every time.

Also give Mary Holland more work.  She’s a budding comedy star blossoming in the wings.

 

 

 

Okay we are now entering the part of the list that I think supremely highly of.  These last five films I think would compete with most contenders from my best lists of past years.  Starting off with…

…I swear I also didn’t do this for the pun.

5. Da 5 Bloods

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5RDTPfsLAI

I don’t think it was intentional that Spike Lee released his latest movie during the month of June.  Right when the George Floyd protests really started to push through.  Honestly wouldn’t surprise me if Spike Lee did this movie so quickly because he honestly has done fast-tracked movies at opportune times to discuss on the nose topics.

And once again, I absolutely love how direct Spike Lee’s message was about the pulse of America.  It was extremely emotionally impactful and even included real footage of real deaths.  This was a very violent movie with real archival footage that honestly made me uncomfortable at times.  But it served its purpose because just like two entries prior, this is the most divided the United States has been since the Vietnam War times.  And we’ve never had a film like this where it shows what it was like to be African-American during this war.  It is as timely then as it is now.  This movie could have not come out at a more opportune time to really spread its message.

This is Spike Lee’s best movie since “Do The Right Thing” over twenty-five years ago.  His aspect ratios in his direction perfectly represent the technological advancements directing has taken in the past fifty years.  He should receive best director considerations just on that alone.  And let me give some major acting props to Delroy Lindo.  This guy has been in the business for damn near fifty years and this is the best performance he’s ever given.  His role as a soldier with extreme PTSD is just absolutely a tour de force.  Best role of his entire career.  Sorry 90’s classics Ransom and Get Shorty.

Highly recommend this movie to those who haven’t seen it and would be so much higher if those visuals didn’t scar my memory banks to such extremities.

 

 

 

Time to talk about the odds-on favorite for this awards season.

4. Nomadland

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sxCFZ8_d84

I wouldn’t be surprised to see people calling this movie “overrated” down the line.  Because it is getting heaped with praise by critics while early audience reaction for this is kind of mixed.  And let me be the first to admit that this movie is honestly not for everyone.

It’s one of those observant movies that focus on the environment it is in more than acting and story based.  This really doesn’t have a true narrative.  The movie gives you the plot basically right away that our lead is bored of her life after a recent loss of a love one, so she becomes a nomad.  She lives in her van, poops in a bucket, bathes in the river, and interacts with real life nomads.

And I’ll be honest, I’m not normally a fan of these non-narrative based films.  Take for example 2014 critical darling, “Boyhood”.  While it wasn’t an awful movie by any means, I felt like I was watching this boy’s awkward home movies.  That is not the case with “Nomadland”.  I feel like I’m watching this woman find herself on this journey while the environment around her.  The many quiet, seemingly inconsequential encounters and interactions gives us a different look of outsiders existence in the real world.  So you can see why this movie works especially well in 2020 where a lot of people were left jobless and contemplating their place in this world in the confines of their homes in lockdown.

Great direction choices all around by Chloe Zhao.  I can see why she has been winning as many best director categories as she has thus far.  Chloe Zhao’s next film is Marvel’s “Eternals”.  To say that I’m excited to see how she tackles Marvel’s first family is an understatement.

 

 

 

God-tier Pixar is back baby!

3. Soul

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs--6c7Hn_A 

I mean let's not kid ourselves here.  Pixar's decline in quality was vastly overstated.  I thought plenty of their movies since their so called "decline" were still pretty damn great in their own rights.  I just think they scheduled all these sequels too close together to the point that people forgot what made them fall in love with this studio in the first place.  Pixar's good not great films would still be better than a lot of other studios best input.  Looking at you Illumination!

But even I've got to admit that Pixar has not made a film this great in quite some time.  Soul is truly one of the studios most ambitious efforts in a very long time.  Further proving that not all animated films need to be kid focused because this is easily Pixar's most adult film.  Revolving around the ideology of life after death and what it means to fully embrace life while you are living is something that is going to float over a lot of kids heads as the kids will probably be entertained enough by the body swap story.

This movie is just a captivating journey from start to finish.  Like some of the jazz compositions that our lead Joe fully loves, the framework of this movie veers off in so many unexpected directions that even its earned ending feels just right.  Popping with colorful visuals, gentle messages of wisdom, and easily the best Pixar musical score ever; Soul is just a return to form of what made this studio so critically acclaimed in the first place.

And as someone who has found his purpose, but still loves to learn more about the meaning of life; "Soul" is easily one of my favorite Pixar films, period.  Definitely top ten, possibly even top five.  It's that perfect from a studio with many perfect films.

So the Academy Awards are this Sunday.  We can spend all day talking about the odds on favorites and the underrated choices who should be recognized.  But let’s talk about the snubs because the fact that this movie only earned one nomination overall proves the Academy is a fucking joke.

2. One Night in Miami…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8vf_Cmh9nY

While I obviously have one more film that I loved more than this one for my best of list, this would have been my odds-on favorite in nearly every category that mattered for the Academy Awards.  It’s just such a powerful movie that really hit in so many ways.  And instead it only got nominated for three categories.  Just three.  What a fucking joke.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still be happy if it won any of those three awards.  Leslie Odom Jr. in particular does a fantastic portrayal of Sam Cooke.  But so many other snubs were made, most notably Best Picture and Best Director for Regina King.  Regina King’s direction in particular was absolutely stellar for a first time director.  Instead of making this a theatrical stage adaptation like the source material, this just feels like a realistic conversation between four African-American historical icons in the 1960’s.  The conversations just felt so smooth and so real that I kept forgetting that I was watching a movie adaptation.  That’s when you know you’ve got real directional talent and I’m just flabbergasted that Regina King didn’t get a best director nomination.

Honestly this movie is just so fantastic that it is actually making me want to seek out the stage play.  Something that I rarely have the urge to do.  Highly suggest you guys seek this one out so you can understand how powerful of a movie this really is.

 

 

 

 

 

My number one for this year was set in stone for many months after I saw it.  Let’s just cut to the reveal:

1. Palm Springs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpBLtXduh_k

It’s one thing to love a movie.  It’s another thing entirely to say that a movie helped you through some pretty dark moments in your life.  And in this year where I, as well as many others, felt like their whole world was turned upside down due to the global pandemic; I needed this movie to help bring some joy back into my life.

I’m not one to speak of my personal life so openly, especially on this sort of playing field like blogs.  But this year, I started seeking a therapist due to battling depression.  I wasn’t the only one certainly who had to battle some sort of depression.  A recent case study shows that therapy sessions went up this year in terms of visitations whether they were in person, over the phone, virtual, etc.  But most of my pandemic based depression stemmed from losing three of my favorite hobbies all at the same time: eating out at local restaurants, sports, and going to the movies.  Sure all three of these are still accessible months later with takeout becoming more popular, sports still going on with limited fan capacities, and movies being sent to streaming services more and more.  But I love eating out at restaurants inside to get the full experience and I haven’t done that since the pandemic started due to it being too risky.  Sports are much more entertaining with maximum fan capacity.  And there is nothing like sitting in a full movie theater with popcorn and stadium seating.  Someday these will all be available to us again but it won’t be for awhile.  I’ve learned to accept this reality we are living in, but I’m still fairly sad that this is the time we are currently living in.

But enough about my anxiety being pushed to its absolute limits this year.  What exactly does that have to do with my attachment to this movie?  If you haven’t seen Palm Springs, it is about making the best of the worst situation.  Our two leads played by Andy Samberg and Cristin Miloti, both phenomenal in this movie, have to relive the same day over and over and over again as they are stuck in an infinite time loop ala Groundhog Day.  And while yes they both wallowed in self-pity and came to terms with their little personal hell, they eventually did escape it.  And even when they were stuck in it, they tried to constantly make the best out of it every day.  This was exactly what I needed to remember at a time where I thought this past year couldn’t get any worse as more and more bad news kept piling on and on to make 2020 such a hell-ish year.

And you know what?  I did have a few good things happen to make 2020 salvageable.  I got re-attached to video games again after spending hundreds of hours on multiple titles, most notably Animal Crossing: New Horizons.  I bought my first house and now have multiple projects to keep me busy in terms of home improvement.  And I also became an uncle to a nephew that I love dearly.  Would I like for things to be different than it is right now?  You bet.  But I’m reminding myself every day to try and see the good amongst all the bad we are currently facing.  And in a way, this movie reminded me of that.

Is “Palm Springs” a perfect movie?  Of course not.  But it didn’t need to be.  It ended up becoming my own personal escapism and a reminder at a time I needed one to live life to its fullest every day.  And that’s why it is my best movie of 2020.

So those are my favorite films of 2020.  Sorry again for the lengthy delay, but I hope it was worth the wait.  Agree or disagree with my choices?  What are your best films of 2020?  And who do you think will bring home the gold this Sunday?  Let me know in the comments below and as always, thank you for reading!