Monday, March 2, 2020

Trailer Talk: February 2020

Hey guys, welcome back.

The Best Hit Songs of 1974 is still in the works, but I didn't want to leave you guys without new content for too long.  That's another thing about this second edition of this blog.  I don't have an exact release schedule.  Trying too force out too much content each day of the week led to said burnout as well.  So keep turning up for more content on the way whenever I can get to it.

With that being said, time to introduce another new update to this blog.  I briefly mentioned this in that welcome back post, but here is the first version of Trailer Talk.  Why does the title say February 2020 when it's now March?  Because I'll be talking about the buzzworthy trailers of last month as my first post.  So if you want to hear my thoughts on that new awful Artemis Fowl trailer this morning...well, you'll have to wait a few more weeks for that.  So let's get started with...



....whatever the fuck this saga is now.  Seriously, does anyone still remember when this franchise was about stealing televisions and street racing?  Now it's about espionage and superhumans and cars jumping off planes and a bunch of other inexplicable bullshit while Vin Diesel hams it up about family.  This series never ceases to amaze me on how many sharks it can jump.  This time, we are now suppose to believe that John Cena is Dom's brother that this series completely forgot about for twenty years.  I guess you could say, they couldn't see him...


In all seriousness, this franchise lost me after the eighth movie and the spin-off wasn't really anything to brag home about either.  I think people are FINALLY starting to grow tired of the oversaturation that is this franchise.  Hence why there are only two more movies on the way and maybe another Hobbs & Shaw and other spin-offs.  Who knows.  Either way, F7 should have been the stopping point.  I'll probably end up seeing this at some point, but probably through streaming.  I'm not mad at there being a ninth movie.  I'm just tired man.





And speaking of growing tired, are we tired of Sony trying to get every last cent they can possibly get from the Spider-Man property rights?  I know I sure am.  I'll give it to them that Venom was too hilariously stupid to outright hate, but that's it.  We don't need that Venom sequel that's in the works and we sure as hell don't need a Morbius movie.  I was never the biggest Morbius fan and really didn't know that he had such a dedicated following to give him his own movie.  But Sony REALLY wants to squeeze that Sony/Marvel Universe for everything they can possibly get; just so Disney doesn't get full custody of everything that is Spider-Man.  Which I don't want Disney to become any more of a monopoly than it already is, but this is one of those rare exceptions where I want them to get the full rights to Spider-Man because I'll be damned that what Sony is doing to this property is even worse.  Nobody wants a full movie dedicated to Black Cat or Silver Sable or even worse, Aunt May.  That's stretching it.

Oh I guess I should talk about the trailer.  It's boring.  Jared Leto seems to not be hamming it up for a change...except for that one scene.  And I guess Michael Keaton showing up at the end is teasing a Sinister Six movie that Sony has so badly wanted to make for at least the last ten years.  Who cares.  Please put an end to this cinematic universe that nobody except Sony wants.



And speaking of movies that nobody wants...who asked for this?  This is one of the least impressive animated movie trailers I've seen in quite some time.  From all the pop culture references to the not impressive in the slightest animation to Will Arnett sounding absolutely bored to be a part of this.  I mean this voice cast outside of him doesn't even sound the slightest bit impressive.  I mean I can tell because this is a WWE Studios film, which means some of their wrestlers are going to be in this.  Aren't those saved for direct to DVD though?  Why is this getting a theatrical release?

I know that John Lasseter is now running Paramount Animation after he got #MeToo'd right out of a job at Disney and I have a lot I would like to say about how he should not be working behind the scenes any more just like the rest of the big names out there who rightfully do not have jobs due to their sexual misconduct allegations.  But I'm going to focus more on the art and not the artist.

And this basically looks like an incredibly poor man's Shrek with wrestling.  Need to see much more before I make any more rash judgments, but as of now, hard pass.  Very hard pass.




Time to end this post on some positivity.  Any sort of fears and qualms I had about the existence of A Quiet Place 2 was quickly resolved by this trailer.  For those of you who don't know, I loved the first movie.  It was one of my best movies of 2018.  John Krasinski proved to me that he is more than an underrated actor.  He's a fantastic director.  I love how two of the best horror movies of the last three years were directed by comedic television actors.

What I love about this trailer in particular is that I am getting The Walking Dead vibes.  Not modern Walking Dead vibes, which the show went downhill about four years ago there.  But it reminds me of what The Walking Dead used to be good at.  Showing that the threats just aren't the creatures at hand.  It's also other groups of survivors that can impose any sort of challenge to survive.  I am honestly ecstatic to see how they handle this sequel and hope that all sorts of goodwill the first movie had carries over here too.

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And that's all for this month's version of Trailer Talk.  I know I didn't cover all the trailers of the past month, but these were the four that stuck out to me the most.  Any others that you all want to see me talk about?  Suggest in the comments below and I'll get around to it next time.  Thank you all for reading and be on the lookout for more content coming soon.

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